---
title: "A Triden(t) Against the World"
date: 2024-02-29
_draft: true
tags:
- shorts
- "content warning: political fluff"
- horror
- u.s. politics
---

**Disclaimer: This was mentally painful to write and I hope equally repulsive to read.**

"Is it yet another left-wing liberal conspiracy, or has President Trump finally taken back control of the White House? His unannounced visit is a show of strength against the authoritarian measures the Biden administration has imposed upon us all."

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"President Biden shows his patience in entertaining former President Trump upon his unauthorised entry to the White House. Reliable sources tell us that the two are discussing the change and continuity in their policies toward China."

---

Two men stared at each other from opposite sides of the Oval Office.

"Donald." The man at the desk stood, moving to the front of the desk.

"Joe," the other man said coolly. "It's been a while."

A pause. 

"Darn right it has!" Joe grinned. "Come here, Donald!" he said, spreading his arms. "I can't believe it's really you!"

It took just three large strides before Donald was wrapping his arms around Joe, laughing. They held each other for nearly a minute, doing nothing but basking in the other's touch after so long.

Eventually, Joe pulled back, leaving his hands on Donald's shoulders, staring proudly into his eyes. Donald was the first to break eye contact. "I see you haven't changed the room much," he said. "Why don't you tell me what you've been up to?" He sat and patted the cushion beside him.

Joe chuckled, capitulating by plopping down by the armrest. "Two years in and you're acting like you own the place," he said, scooching over to press closer to Donald.

Donald waggled his bushy blonde eyebrows. "I *did* own the place."

Joe's face shadowed, and Donald pulled him closer when he noticed. "I missed you. The real you. You don't have to keep it up anymore, you know." Joe shook his head. "You've done it. It's over."

"Eight years," Donald said solemnly. "I promised that I would give you eight years. I'll run in 2024. It'll anger half the country just enough to let you clinch another term."

"You don't have to," Joe argued. "Kamala already said that she'd find someone else to be VP. I know how much effort you've put in for me already."

"Oh, my little robin." said Donald affectionately, patting Joe's head. "You know that's not going to be enough to convince them."

Joe made a face at the pet name, but he leaned into the touch all the same. "You know I hate it when you call me that," he groaned. A smile tugged at his lips nonetheless. "I wish we could be like this forever."

"I wish we could, too." Donald sighed forlornly. He ran his fingers through Joe's white locks. "But you know what the media's like. They're already on my case about today. By the way, are you using a new shampoo?"

"You noticed?" Joe said, pleased. "I smelled it off of this high schooler from Iowa. It reminded me of you. What do you think?"

"Keep it," Donald decided. "The chamomile smells so soothing."

They sat there, leaning against each other, simply enjoying the shared warmth of the other's presence. Finally, Joe spoke up. "Want to come up with a cover story together?"

Donald rubbed his hands together. "You're on. I'm thinking of asking Pingping to cover for us with a trade deal or two…"
