---
title: "The Birds on Censorship"
date: 2021-07-09
tags:
- birds
- unstagnation
---

**Summary:** Sudden news rocks the Birds' world as they reminisce on their past and their future.

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---

All is well in the Bird residence. Brandy has come over to hang out today and is kindly preparing breakfast for Skoomer Bird and Noodle Bird, who sit across from each other at the wooden dining table. Their buddy Mango is also in the basement, chilling and playing video games.

Skoomer chuckles as he flips through a particularly interesting page in the newspaper. "Noodle," he says, turning the paper around and leaning forward to show her its contents. "Take a look at these things they banned recently."

Noodle raises her attention from her phone to Skoomer, squinting to read the tiny inked letters. "Wow. Damn."

"And this is just a small section, the rest of the pages are…completely expected." Skoomer sighs. "Some of these I expected too. Algorithms nowadays are incredible at filtering these out, and there is human review as well. I guess to the *common* person this…sounds incredibly scary, doesn't it?" he says, smiling and shaking his head.

"Mm," Noodle agrees. "What happens if you break these rules?" She shifts her gaze back to her phone, brow furrowed. "What if I accidentally posted hentai? Will I go to jail?"

Skoomer's reply is prompt and direct. "Instant deletion and maybe an account ban. Keep in mind, since your account is connected to your ID number, they know who posted it as well. *Exactly* who posted it."

Noodle's face pales for an unknown reason. "Uh oh. Uh…wait, doesn't League count as lewd content? They have 'sexy characters' — like a lot of them basically wearing bikinis." She rapidly types on her phone as she says this.

Skoomer raps his fingers against the table. "League's problem is more of a copyright issue, I would say," he hums. "Bikinis are fine, I think…in practice."

"This is Janna." Noodle raises an eyebrow, holding her phone up to Skoomer, which is showing a picture of a fantastic (d.: "of or relating to fantasy") woman wielding a spear in very revealing attire.

Skoomer nods. "Yeah, this is fine. Nothing wrong at all."

Confusion shows itself on Noodle's face as she slightly lowers her phone. "Oh…okay, never mind — maybe I don't understand what 'lewd' means."

At that moment, Brandy comes in, setting a plate of eggs and bacon in front of both of them. He groans exasperatedly. "Guys, it's too early for this debate."

Skoomer waggles his eyebrows. "Not for me."

Brandy thinks about this for a moment. "True," he decides. "Carry on, then." He steps away back to the kitchen for the other still-sleeping members of the Bird household.

Skoomer puts his newspaper away and now considers Noodle's earlier statement. "Lewd…it's a bit more blurry, I guess. But I think the interesting part is like," he waves away the matter, "the ban on LGBTQ content and underage dating."

"I mean, it *is*, but I'm not surprised about that," Noodle waves away the wave.

"…Because it's reflective of the policies in…many other fields," Skoomer continues.

This piques Noodle's interest. "Oh?"

"At the end of the day, it's not LGBTQ that is being prohibited," Skoomer argues, "but actually the organisations that advocate for it."

Brandy suddenly pops his head back in from the kitchen, frying pan in one hand. "Oh yeah, is underage dating illegal? I remember Skoomer got someone expelled for doing that." He pauses. "Maybe," he adds.

"*Technically*," Skoomer states matter-of-factly, raising a finger in the air, "underage dating is not forbidden as a law, but as local school or district policies."

Brandy shrugs. "Basically a law, then. A by-law, you could say."

Noodle looks disappointed but not terribly surprised. "Skoomer. Why."

Skoomer clasps his hands together and looks straight in Noodle's eyes. "It's my duty." He smiles.

"Oh," Brandy starts, "I remembered that correctly?"

"Just change 'someone' to a plural and yeah."

"Well, of course," Brandy says, amused. "It takes two of them."

"Ah, well, more than two," Skoomer corrects him. "Also, I designed a policy that actually doesn't do it in pairs."

Noodle lets out a gasp of horror and utter shock, eyes wide and hands cupped around her mouth. "Skoomer! You were in a *threesome?"*

Brandy laughs. Skoomer stares at her pointedly. "Ma'am, excuse me *what*? What are you *thinking?*"

Noodle's expression is one of purely innocent confusion.

"Noodle asking the real questions! Ah, Mango, you're up — let me grab some breakfast for you." Brandy turns to head back to cooking, occasionally letting out a chuckle. "A threesome…heh."

The two at the dining table turn to see Mango up from the basement with a blank expression.

"My disappointment is immeasurable and I am questioning my friendships," he states.

At this point, Noodle gives up on restraining herself and laughs whole-heartedly. "Bwa ha ha!"

Skoomer throws his hands up in the air, grumbling indecipherable noises.

Calming herself down, Noodle is still smiling widely as she teases Skoomer further. "I don't know, I just kinda assumed Skoomer got into a relationship to expose the other person — and then he said 'more than two', and I was like…" She squints suspiciously.

Skoomer crosses his arms defensively. "Sir, we didn't play undercover, it was elementary school."

"I don't know about that, Skoomer…"

"Even our counter-espionage didn't go that far!"

"Sus."

"Fine! *One* thing I did was uh…we only expelled one person in a pair, but the pair had to choose who got expelled." He smirks self-assuredly.

"Mate," Mango interjects, staring at Noodle, "'more than two'…are you cheating on me?"

Noodle looks at him sheepishly as she slowly slides down in her chair until only her eyes peek above the table. Mango's expression is one of pure devastation.

Skoomer chuckles. "Nah, but Noodle, wouldn't you agree that my policy is highly effective?" he says proudly. "The *speed* that couples just *disintegrated* amazed me at the time."

"Do you know what else is effective?" Mango directs a side-eye glance at Skoomer.

Skoomer tilts his head away and side-eyes him right back.

Mango smirks.

Skoomer dips his head.

Mango smirks harder.

Skoomer begins to sweat nervously.

To Noodle's dismay, any possible resolution to the tension between them is broken by Runo crashing down the stairs. "Yo guys, did you see the newspaper?" He shoves a finger at a tiny line on the newspaper clutched in his other hand. "Any action that damages ethic unity," he quotes. "WHAT THE FRESH FUCK!"