Compare commits
4 Commits
typography
...
master
Author | SHA1 | Date | |
---|---|---|---|
|
63349df587 | ||
|
a2f9a719c2 | ||
|
dc93f9bba1 | ||
|
59f5f942b0 |
294
content/stories/shorts/glorious-pain.md
Normal file
294
content/stories/shorts/glorious-pain.md
Normal file
@ -0,0 +1,294 @@
|
||||
---
|
||||
title: Glorious Pain
|
||||
date: "2024-11-22"
|
||||
tags:
|
||||
- birdseye
|
||||
- nanowrimo
|
||||
- featured
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
**Summary:** Liz, Archie, Sialia, and William J. Swainson watch a human who insists that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And, well, who wouldn't want to be stronger?
|
||||
|
||||
<!-- more -->
|
||||
|
||||
Good morning to you, child, Sialia, Mr. Swainson. Shall we start the day?
|
||||
|
||||
"Why, but of course. Are you all prepared for human-watching? Have you everything you need?"
|
||||
|
||||
Of course. Let us travel across the skies of Winnipeg!
|
||||
|
||||
"Excellent. Please follow me. The Forks are rather busy this time of year. If I ever needed a quick human, the Forks were a fine place to find one."
|
||||
|
||||
What accessible architecture! The highs and tumbles all mesh together beautifully. A bird could hide or swoop around this area anywhere!
|
||||
|
||||
"Another reason why it is such a perfect location for birds. Look at those humans arguing over there. That's usually a good sign to find interesting people."
|
||||
|
||||
Let us listen in, then. What an angry woman, pulling her friend close to her like that. That other man might be getting a little too close to them for comfort.
|
||||
|
||||
"Get your hands off of him! How *dare* you insult him like that? Do you know what he's been through?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Woah, dude. Take a chill pill. I didn't even touch your friend there. I just called him out for being rich. Y'know, got his whole life sorted out before the age of ten by his parents and all that. You don't gotta act like I slept with your mom last night."
|
||||
|
||||
"Um, Sera, it's okay. Isn't this a bit of an overreaction…?"
|
||||
|
||||
"No! Absolutely not, Leo. If anything, I can't believe that you aren't reacting more! How can you let him say that to you? You lived in poverty since you were three. You scrimped and saved and worked as hard as you could just so you could feed both yourself and your family while going to school. *You deserve nice things.* It's okay to want for things."
|
||||
|
||||
"Damn, man. I didn't know you had a backstory like that. Sorry, bro."
|
||||
|
||||
"Yeah, well, you should apologise! Don't judge people by how they look, loser."
|
||||
|
||||
"Come on, Sera. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. People are staring. Let's just go."
|
||||
|
||||
"Hmph. You value yourself *way* too little. This world is full of injustices. I just want to see you succeed, Leo."
|
||||
|
||||
I daresay that this might be the most interesting human yet, this *Sera*. A blunt and direct person, isn't she? Let us follow these two as they leave the malls.
|
||||
|
||||
"Seraphina!" A new girl.
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, hey, Amara! You can totally call me Sera, you know that, right? What're you doing here? Oh, this is Leo, by the way. Leo, this is Amara. We've been friends since high school."
|
||||
|
||||
"Heya. Great to meet you!"
|
||||
|
||||
"Nice to meet you too, Leo. Seraphi — sorry, I mean, *Sera*, I was gonna go shopping with Phoebe today. Wanna join us?"
|
||||
|
||||
Out of all of the noses I've seen, Sera's nose is up there for most expressive. That wrinkling is remarkably clear, even to birds such as myself.
|
||||
|
||||
"Phoebe? Phoebe Sinclair?"
|
||||
|
||||
"…Yeah. Is something wrong with Phoebe?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Not at all." That sniff says otherwise. "She's perfectly fine the way she is. I just wish I understood how she got to where she is today."
|
||||
|
||||
"Huh. Okay. Well, maybe you'll get to talk to her at Ethan's birthday party today. You're going, right?" Birthday? Oh, we must follow this girl.
|
||||
|
||||
"Of course! Wouldn't miss it for anything."
|
||||
|
||||
"Cool, cool. Phoebe's been waiting for me at Zara for a while now, so I'm gonna dip. See you tonight?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Yeah, for sure. Bye!"
|
||||
|
||||
"Nice meeting ya."
|
||||
|
||||
Child, this is a once-in-a-year opportunity! Humans' birthdays are incredibly significant to them, and the particularly interesting ones make a big fuss out of it and throw a party. You're incredibly lucky to see something so special at your age.
|
||||
|
||||
Mr. Swainson, please don't raise his ego. Garuda knows it's flying too close to the sun already. The humble bird gets the worm, as they say.
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
One more piece of advice to you, child: You can easily tell if a house contains a lot of humans by looking at the number of cars in the driveway. Usually, those with more guests have more cars, as the cars refuse to leave without their owners. From there, you can use the information in a variety of different ways. You could track the humans entering and leaving the home based on what cars they take and how many humans each car holds. You could also link the cars to the home and build a network of humans. The possibilities are endless!
|
||||
|
||||
In this case, we can use the information to easily verify that this is indeed the correct house. The richer humans with the larger houses are particularly nice because they usually have at least one open window somewhere that is suitable for human-watching. Additionally, the density of humans in the house is lower, so your chances of getting caught are much lower.
|
||||
|
||||
For now, let us find a nice open window to eavesdrop from. Oh! Actually, we can approach the window later. A new car is pulling up to the house!
|
||||
|
||||
"Hey Ethan — happy birthday! And Sera! When was the last time I saw you guys?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Phoebe! C'mere. Oh my god, it's been way too long. Love the necklace, by the way."
|
||||
|
||||
"Thanks! My mom helped pick it out for me last week."
|
||||
|
||||
"Hmph."
|
||||
|
||||
"Hm? Sera?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Nothing. Don't mind me. Why don't you come in?"
|
||||
|
||||
It's going to be difficult to squeeze by them. Shall we head to the window to continue their conversation?
|
||||
|
||||
"…and then I told my mom, so she was like, 'Do you need a new one?' And of *course* I'm not gonna say no to a new phone, right? Sera, is something wrong? You've been kinda smug this whole time. I know that we've had our disagreements sometimes, but *surely* you're over it now?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, but of course. How could our *little princess* here be troubled? *Everything* must end up perfectly for her. Oh, the horror? How could you possibly be bothered by something as trivial as *disagreements?* 'No,' she says, 'look at me! I'm so perfect and smart and pretty and I have so many friends!' Even though you haven't done a single *damn* thing to deserve it. Acting so high and mighty like that — it disgusts me."
|
||||
|
||||
"What are you on about? Did I do something to you?"
|
||||
|
||||
" *'Did I do something to you,'* she asks. More like what you *didn't* do. *You're* probably just here because you're Amara's friend. Honestly, I don't know what she sees in you. Have you ever been grateful for anything or worked a *single* day of hard work in your entire life?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Hey! Don't mock me. Look, I don't know what your problem is, but this is getting out of hand."
|
||||
|
||||
*"My* problem is that *you* don't realise just how good you've got it while you brag about all of the *nice things* you have to other people. Actually *good* other people, unlike you. See Amara here? She *chooses* to be kind even though she's experienced first-hand how cruel the world is. She lost the bright, innocent spark in the eyes of her childhood when her parents died, when *no one* wanted to help her, and when her closest friend betrayed her. Yet *still —* still she has ten times the heart that you do."
|
||||
|
||||
"Sera, *please* calm down…"
|
||||
|
||||
What a proud human. But strangely…not for herself. She's proud of the people around her. Quite refreshing. I'd say that I've rather had enough of the usual narcissists. And, if I may say, with rather strong, correct opinions too. Listen closely to every word she says, child. There is much you can take from her insights.
|
||||
|
||||
"I will *not* calm down, Amara! How can you possibly be so calm when there's someone like *her* right in front of you, spouting things off like she knows everything?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I'm just a normal girl, Sera. It's not that big of a deal."
|
||||
|
||||
"Have you seen her *house*, Amara? She practically lives in a mansion. Her whole life, she's never had to worry about food, about having a roof over her head, about if she'll be alive tomorrow. And now she *dares* enter into your lives without even a single sacrifice?"
|
||||
|
||||
All excellent points. Child, no matter how old you may be, you will remain a child in my eyes until you suffer true hardship. Learn that there is no free lunch in this world. Learn that if you truly want something, you need to *work* for it. If you don't work for it, you won't get it. It's as simple as that.
|
||||
|
||||
There is no sense believing that all of the puzzle pieces will align one day, and suddenly everything will fall into place. That's at best a fantasy that should be relegated to stories. How can you possibly be happy if you've never been truly sad? How can you recognise success if you've never failed?
|
||||
|
||||
…Respectfully, *William*, I must disagree. Life is nothing without suffering. If one does not suffer, they cannot understand how other people who truly *do* suffer feel. Those who experience more suffering are objectively better. Not knowing that only means that you have not experienced enough to understand the incredibly large range of emotions and experiences one can go through. I'd recommend going out and travelling more.
|
||||
|
||||
"Woah, woah! What's going on here? Ladies, ladies, calm down! It's a birthday party — let's not get too aggressive." Oh, go away, new boy. Don't break up the debate *now*. It was just starting to get interesting!
|
||||
|
||||
"Even if you're the birthday boy, Ethan, this isn't something I can back down on. Look, Phoebe. If Amara has her own reasons why she keeps you around, fine. I'll respect that. But why should you, someone who's been sheltered all their life by *mommy* and *daddy*, knowing nothing but their love, never having to worry about food or shelter or survival be here over someone like Leo?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I gotta say, Sera, I'm on Phoebe's side here. It's not *wrong* to be normal. In fact, I think that normal people are great! I love normal people. I feel like it'd be better if people *didn't* have to go through things just to have nice things, y'know?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Huh? That makes no sense. What about all of the people who *do* go through things? How is that fair? I disagree with my parents on a lot of things, but being grateful for what you have is something that we both share an opinion on."
|
||||
|
||||
"Why would you ever want to want to bring people down?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Amara?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I get trying to lift up people in pain, Sera. I do. But why would you ever want to push down happy people? I don't think that life is transactional like that. Phoebe and I equally don't deserve to get murdered."
|
||||
|
||||
"I agree. *Murder* might be a stretch. But it's not equal. Things should be equal. Why aren't they equal?"
|
||||
|
||||
"If you really want to have this conversation, why don't we have it in the room over there?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Only if everyone hears."
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh my god, Sera. Why are you such a drama queen?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Ex*cuse* me? How am *I* the drama queen? What about you? You chose to defend Phoebe by *yourself.*"
|
||||
|
||||
"Sera, I like you a lot, I really do — I might reconsider after this conversation though, depending on how it goes — but you gotta come back down from your outlandish opinions, girl."
|
||||
|
||||
"All of the people you've talked to, Ethan and me and Chelsea and Ken and the many, many more I'm sure I don't know, we're all really grateful that you're so understanding toward us. But — well, I don't want to assume, but for me personally — I don't want to be treated differently. I just want what happened to go away. I'd rather not talk about it, y'know?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Why not? It should be a badge of honour. You should totally share it! You'd be way cooler to other people. Dark and brooding. *So* interesting."
|
||||
|
||||
"…Is this how you thought the entire time?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Duh? I don't know why you're trying to stop me, Amara. You're all the way up there with so many more worldly experiences and perspectives, but I'm just here trying to get us lowly peasants up there so we can understand you better. It's hard to do that when you keep pushing us back down."
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, Sera. Please tell me you're kidding. I didn't — there's no way you could possibly be *below* me. It's…it's not helpful. At all. All I want is to just be a normal person in a normal world. That's it. You don't need to be that person for me. Don't — don't hurt yourself doing that. It's not healthy. And it's never worth it."
|
||||
|
||||
"There is no such thing as normal in this world. Everyone has their perspective, their side, their story. Everyone is different."
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, no. Trust me. There is *absolutely* a normal. And I strived for that for *so very long*, Sera. Way before I met you. Please trust me when I say that no one wants to experience trauma. It's *never* a good thing."
|
||||
|
||||
"You're telling me that what I've been through wasn't *real* trauma? When I asked my dad to shove my head underwater for fifteen seconds? When I asked George to tie me up against a board for a few hours? Drat. Maybe I should poison myself instead, that might have a stronger lasting impact…"
|
||||
|
||||
"You did *what??"*
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, whew. You didn't know. Thank god. I thought it wasn't gonna count and I'd have to pull out all the stops to join the cool kids club."
|
||||
|
||||
"No, no, that's not what I meant. I — I think I might need to take a seat just to comprehend what exactly is going on. Maybe we could continue this conversation later."
|
||||
|
||||
"Yeah, yeah, no problem. By the looks of it, I might not be at your level, Amara, do you think I've suffered enough to beat Ethan, maybe? Maybe an Ethan and a half?"
|
||||
|
||||
"I…I can't. I'm sorry. I have to go."
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, shit, Amara. I'm sorry. Did I trigger your latent trauma?"
|
||||
|
||||
"No, no, please — please leave me alone for a moment. Please."
|
||||
|
||||
"Ooh. Gotcha. Lemme know if you level up again!"
|
||||
|
||||
"Yo, Sera, what'd you do to Amara to make her run out like that?"
|
||||
|
||||
"She taught me that I have a lot of room to improve. Not as much as you, Phoebe, but there is still a great distance between me and her."
|
||||
|
||||
"Er… That's not *bad*, I think. So why was making an expression like she wanted to vomit?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, y'know. People with checkered pasts often relapse into it, they get sad after something reminds them of it, and it's a true journey and a clear example of humans thriving through adversity that lets them overcome it. I'm really impressed by how she handled it, myself."
|
||||
|
||||
"Huh. There's…a lot to unpack here. Um."
|
||||
|
||||
All of these humans are so strange. They bear such strange expressions toward each other, as if they cannot understand each other. Bluebirds do not have this problem at all. Why don't they stare at each other and immediately comprehend what the other is thinking?
|
||||
|
||||
Or fight it out. That's always a clean and decisive way to determine any winners or losers. Hell, if I could, I'd fight on Sera's behalf myself. I've never met a human who so clearly understood our perspective.
|
||||
|
||||
When you grow up, go adventuring more. See the world. See its people, face its challenges, and suffer until you can experience the full range of bluebird emotion. All of these pussycat humans are cowards. Probably never worked a single day in their life. Never had to forage for food in the winter, or watch another human die.
|
||||
|
||||
To hurt is to live. How can one possibly know happiness if they are never sad? How can one possibly know pleasure if they are never in pain? These humans will never reach the heights of emotion, never achieve their true potential.
|
||||
|
||||
"Sera, I'm on your side!"
|
||||
|
||||
Ah, another sane human.
|
||||
|
||||
"Eh. Lucas, you don't count. You're not even at my level, let alone *them*. Glad you have the right mindset though. If you listen to me, you'll be able to understand the world more. Understand people more. And how could that possibly be a bad thing? I simply want people to broaden their perspective."
|
||||
|
||||
The other girl returns.
|
||||
|
||||
"Sera, could we talk about this later? It's Ethan's special day, and sometimes it seems like you talk about nothing but how people would be doing so much better if they just stabbed themselves sometimes."
|
||||
|
||||
"But they should! It'd be a learning experience."
|
||||
|
||||
"Sera…"
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, right. Fine. Ugh, what a spoilsport. Right, guys?"
|
||||
|
||||
Hey. These are Sera's friends, aren't they? Why aren't they sticking up for her? Just because they share an objectively incorrect opinion doesn't mean that they can dismiss their friend like that. How rude.
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
"How was the birthday party?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Not great. Some sheltered rich girl was there and she was being a jerk. That kinda ruined the whole thing."
|
||||
|
||||
"You should be grateful that you even have the opportunity to go to such a frivolous event. When I was your age, I was already married and working, not fooling around and spending lavishly on snacks and treats. Consider yourself lucky."
|
||||
|
||||
"You keep telling me over and over again. I *get* it, ma. Unlike some other people."
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, sweetie. I know. There's not much you can do about it if they really don't want to change. You have to be willing to look at the flaws inside you, and it seems like these people just don't want to do that. It's a shame that there are so many like them out in the world."
|
||||
|
||||
"I told one of them that they should broaden their perspective and be more considerate, and she almost punched me!"
|
||||
|
||||
"Hmph. Ungrateful rats. Their parents must have been too protective of them. Didn't want them to get their hands dirty in the real world. Probably only went to the *sanitised* plastic playgrounds. No, they were the ones *sanitising* the playgrounds."
|
||||
|
||||
"They gotta be."
|
||||
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
Sialia, I know that *you* never wanted kids, but Mr. Swainson, I cannot believe you. I thought that as a fine, distinguished gentleman, you would have had the orthodox mentality that one must experience as many things in life as possible. This is an impossibility.
|
||||
|
||||
"Elizabeth, let me be frank. I have seen enough of the world, and I would rather my children not have to see the parts that they do not need to see. There are some things better left unsaid."
|
||||
|
||||
You are much too protective.
|
||||
|
||||
"There are things that birds *should not* experience. It would be incredibly traumatic and have a terrible effect on their mental health."
|
||||
|
||||
Mental health? What are you talking about? Birds can function perfectly fine no matter what Garuda throws at them. It's how we thrive as a species. Why, my eldest daughter flew straight into a travelling car's windshield and she values her life all the more for it. I myself tried the same — with a slower car, to minimise the risk of injury — and found myself with a greater appreciation with the world.
|
||||
|
||||
"Why would you do that to yourself?"
|
||||
|
||||
To understand her and the experience. How could you be so aghast about this?
|
||||
|
||||
"Liz, you're an affront to all that pain stands for. Things hurt for a reason."
|
||||
|
||||
If one never hurts, how can one love? Emotions are relative. A bird with the emotional range as wide as a feather will never feel true, unadulterated joy. Birds — and humans for that matter — have to hurt sometimes.
|
||||
|
||||
That is what pain is — a reflection of happiness. Pain *helps* us feel happy, Sialia, Mr. Swainson. It is a very good thing.
|
||||
|
||||
"Elizabeth. Let me ask you this. I understand that it may be difficult to change your mind —"
|
||||
|
||||
Absolutely.
|
||||
|
||||
"— but if you could put yourself in a situation where you would never hurt or feel sad again, would you?"
|
||||
|
||||
No! Didn't you hear a single word I said?
|
||||
|
||||
"Liz, I almost forgot to bring this up because of all the other crazy philosophical stuff you went on, but let me remind you that Juliette is *not okay.* I have no doubt that if you asked her, she would agree in a heartbeat to not have had her beak crushed in. She didn't and still doesn't *want* that memory, Liz. Pain is something Garuda blessed us with so that we know what to avoid."
|
||||
|
||||
She can absolutely have memories that she'd rather not have but still are better for her in the long run. Children never want to do work around the nest, but you would still encourage them to do that, wouldn't you?
|
||||
|
||||
"That's what I'm trying to say. It's *not* better for her in the long run. I can't believe I have to explain to you why making your children do chores is not at all comparable to She's deathly afraid of any moving object now. Don't you know that that's why she stopped human-watching with you? Why she avoids flying? Why she moved to Florida? She's so afraid that she never wants to experience anything like that again. She barely talks to the other birds, Liz. When was the last time you visited her?"
|
||||
|
||||
I… It must have been nearly three years now. I was not aware of this. Regardless, if she tries harder, she can overcome any obstacle. Give it some more time and she will surely rise up to the occasion and rise through the ashes like a phoenix to her new self. Stronger than ever before.
|
||||
|
||||
"Help me out here, William. She's not on my wavelength. Got any solid arguments to stop her from putting through Archie here through some sort of torture machine later on in his life? I wasn't worried before, but now I definitely am."
|
||||
|
||||
"How many years have you been human-watching, Elizabeth?"
|
||||
|
||||
Almost ten. Why?
|
||||
|
||||
"And in those ten years, how many humans have you seen that were hurt?"
|
||||
|
||||
Quite a few. Why?
|
||||
|
||||
"Most humans who are hurt don't express it. To my understand, instead, they actively try to hide it to reintegrate with society. There are a lot of them — both humans and bluebirds — that aren't able to fully. Maybe an equal number that aren't able to at all."
|
||||
|
||||
Suppose you're right. These people are harder to see in the world. But —
|
||||
|
||||
"Maybe we should drop this topic. Clearly we aren't getting anywhere. William, I'm sure you must want to get home by now. We've kept you for far too long. I'll stay with Liz, don't worry. At least until we reach the great mountain range. Help her keep an eye on Archie, too."
|
||||
|
||||
"My thanks for your companionship the way here."
|
||||
|
||||
No, no, the honour is all ours! Sialia and I, we've loved having you here. You've provided such a great perspective that we've learned a lot from. Perhaps in the future we could meet up and have more…insightful discussions in the future. I'd love to visit you in Montreal.
|
196
content/stories/unstagnation/2024/miraidon-the-dongo.md
Normal file
196
content/stories/unstagnation/2024/miraidon-the-dongo.md
Normal file
@ -0,0 +1,196 @@
|
||||
---
|
||||
title: "Miraidon the Dongo"
|
||||
date: 2024-11-14
|
||||
tags:
|
||||
- birds
|
||||
- unstagnation
|
||||
- featured
|
||||
---
|
||||
|
||||
![Dongo is love. Dongo is life.](/dongo-party.png)
|
||||
|
||||
<!-- more -->
|
||||
|
||||
The boy falls back against his couch, dropping his controller in his lap. The video game on his TV blares cheerful adventurous music. "The game is sooooo slow."
|
||||
|
||||
"Fuck," the girl says over video chat. "You're on emulator, though. 2.5x it?"
|
||||
|
||||
"The computer isn't quite powerful enough."
|
||||
|
||||
"L. Ratio. Cringe PC gamer."
|
||||
|
||||
The boy turns his attention back to the game, adding a new monster to his current party. "Dongo disagrees. Do you have a Dongo? Exactly."
|
||||
|
||||
On the other side of the world, the girl has little to say to that. "Dongo isn't _real,_ he's _not\!"_
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo is life."
|
||||
|
||||
"It's time to snap back to reality — car doggo is a myth."
|
||||
|
||||
"I will write Dongo fanfic. He will be real."
|
||||
|
||||
She makes a face. "I'm so sorry — this sounds like the biggest innuendo…"
|
||||
|
||||
He nods absently. "Hm, hm, yes, sex the Dongo."
|
||||
|
||||
She pauses. _"What?"_
|
||||
|
||||
He frowns. "Absolutely not. Dongo is too precious."
|
||||
|
||||
Her jaw drops. "You're the one who said to sex it\! Every time I settle down to play Pokémon, I end up playing League instead. I think I've been corrupted by the impure." She shudders.
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, no\! League is not fun."
|
||||
|
||||
"But it is," she says sadly.
|
||||
|
||||
"It's boring\! You click things, it's barely real time nor turn-based. It's as if tower defense and Civ did a Dongo."
|
||||
|
||||
She takes a moment to parse the mystery word. "Why is it an _adjective_ now?"
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo disapproves." He shakes his head.
|
||||
|
||||
"Oh, yeah? Well, I've spoken to Dongo and he said he doesn't like you." She sticks her tongue out, folds her arms, and turns away.
|
||||
|
||||
"Lies\!" he cries. "You don't have Dongo. Dongo is _mine\!"_
|
||||
|
||||
"I have him right here," she gloats, peeking off-camera. "He's right in front of me right now. He just doesn't want to see you."
|
||||
|
||||
"Let's see 'em."
|
||||
|
||||
"But he doesn't want to see you."
|
||||
|
||||
"Pics or it didn't happen."
|
||||
|
||||
Some shuffling from her background. "Every time I pull out my camera, he hides behind the couch and mutters, 'no'. And he can talk. And I'd know because I've talked to him."
|
||||
|
||||
"I think you met an impostor Dongo…" he starts, concerned.
|
||||
|
||||
"I think _you_ met an impostor Dongo," she counters.
|
||||
|
||||
"…because Pokémon can't talk, duh?" He sounds befuddled.
|
||||
|
||||
"Not to you," she says smugly. She pauses. "I feel like such a kid…ahh…"
|
||||
|
||||
"Embrace it," he encourages. "Embrace the Dongo."
|
||||
|
||||
"…I'd like to remind you of the innuendo you set up not 40 seconds ago."
|
||||
|
||||
"Well, it was an…accident."
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo disapproves."
|
||||
|
||||
"No, _your_ Dongo disapproves."
|
||||
|
||||
"It's not worth arguing with a Dongo flat earther, so I'll agree to disagree."
|
||||
|
||||
"I think you should get your head checked out because Dongo isn't real? He's from this Pokémon game."
|
||||
|
||||
_"What?"_ she screeches. "No — heathen — _hypocrite\!_ I am _awake_, I am _alive_, I am _correct\!"_
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo disagrees."
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo is _right here,_ I —" Some shuffling. She sounds defeated. "I can't win." One last stand. "If he's real, then I'm right and you're wrong. But if he's fake you're right but you're right because you heard from Dongo."
|
||||
|
||||
"Touch the Dongo," he eggs. A simple test. "I dare you."
|
||||
|
||||
"…What the _fuck_ is going on? I'm not _coherent_ enough for this?" She sounds like she's in hysterics.
|
||||
|
||||
"More like you're _too_ coherent for this. I'm making innuendo jokes, obviously. Can't you tell? Dong get it?"
|
||||
|
||||
_"AHHHHHHHHHHH\!"_ The sound of a head smashing a wall comes through the speaker.
|
||||
|
||||
"No. No, I refuse to accept this. Dongo is — one: real, two: not real, three: an innuendo, four: I need a psych eval, five: _you_ need a psych eval."
|
||||
|
||||
He frowns. "Three of those criteria contradict each other."
|
||||
|
||||
"…I am _not prepared_ for this multiple choice test."
|
||||
|
||||
"You see, if I need an eval, then Dongo must not be not real nor real — and simultaneously you don't need an eval because Dongo is therefore real and not real. This is according to Dongo over here."
|
||||
|
||||
Silence.
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo says hi…" he adds.
|
||||
|
||||
A pause. "I am going to lose my mind."
|
||||
|
||||
"…in Dongonese."
|
||||
|
||||
"What the _fuck_ is _Dongonese?_ You said Pokémon can't talk\!"
|
||||
|
||||
"They can — what do you mean? Pikachu talks all the time."
|
||||
|
||||
A slow realisation. "I'm being fucking gaslit\!"
|
||||
|
||||
"Can't you hear them? They make all sorts of sounds in the game."
|
||||
|
||||
She falls over. She considers whether to go batshit crazy or lie on the ground. She decides to lie on the ground.
|
||||
|
||||
"They even talk to each other," he continues. "Here, lemme find a pic."
|
||||
|
||||
A ping. With dread in her heart, she slides down the notification.
|
||||
|
||||
![](/dongo-gaslight.jpg)
|
||||
|
||||
It's a picture of a Victorian lamp. Its flame cheerfully dances, burning the gas. "Shut the fuck up."
|
||||
|
||||
"Stare into it," he encourages.
|
||||
|
||||
Against her will, her eyes track the still image. "Oh," she realises.
|
||||
|
||||
"You can hear whispers."
|
||||
|
||||
"_Oh._ I can _see,"_ she whispers.
|
||||
|
||||
" 'Dongo dong dong dongo.' "
|
||||
|
||||
"I can _hear_ it. The voices. Of _Dongo_. They're telling me…they're telling me to go see a therapist." She pushes herself up with her elbows.
|
||||
|
||||
"Dongo agrees."
|
||||
|
||||
"_No\!"_ She is fed up. She will not let him take it back from her. "Let him speak for _himself."_
|
||||
|
||||
" 'Cause that's a gas light, y'know. It's not good for your brain. Has fumes and all that."
|
||||
|
||||
She looks back to the picture with horror in her eyes. "I feel like I'm forgetting how to communicate like a functional human being," she says.
|
||||
|
||||
"It's okay\! Dongo feels that way too."
|
||||
|
||||
She closes her eyes. "Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all have been a big, elaborate dream."
|
||||
|
||||
"Yep."
|
||||
|
||||
"_He's. Not. Real."_
|
||||
|
||||
"That's right. He can't hurt you."
|
||||
|
||||
Something in that resonates with her. "H-he can't hurt me," she says, dazed. Then more confidently, "He can't hurt me." She nods. "The voices are gone."
|
||||
|
||||
"Good."
|
||||
|
||||
She takes a deep breath. "I am about to have a psychotic break on the bathroom floor at 1:47 AM over hearing the voices of Miraidon, box legendary of hit new Pokémon game Violet, and maybe this other nerd's voice, I'm not sure."
|
||||
|
||||
"While you're at it, say hi to Dongo for me."
|
||||
|
||||
"I'll tell him you hate him."
|
||||
|
||||
This shakes him up. His tone changes. "Noooo\!" More confidence. She pulls the middle finger to no one in particular. But then, "That's okay. I have the real Dongo."
|
||||
|
||||
She refuses to be sucked into his insanity. "I'm _not_ starting this again, I'm not\!"
|
||||
|
||||
He sighs. It must have been a long night for him, too. "I'd agree, actually."
|
||||
|
||||
"Ha\! I can finally win\!"
|
||||
|
||||
"I've run out of circles to Dongo," he concedes.
|
||||
|
||||
The sense of victory makes it easier for her to assert her place in reality. "That doesn't even make sense\!"
|
||||
|
||||
"So? Does Dongo make sense? No."
|
||||
|
||||
"The message I'm taking away from this conversation is that I'm always right and you're always wrong and Schrodinger's Dongo."
|
||||
|
||||
"Sounds about right." A pause. "Good night\!"
|
||||
|
||||
"Night\!"
|
||||
|
||||
!["Don-dongo. Dongodon dong dongodon?"](dongo.jpg)
|
@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ const welcomeStrings = ["Welcome!", "Bienvenue!", "欢迎!"];
|
||||
</p>
|
||||
</div>
|
||||
<div
|
||||
class="flex justify-around items-stretch w-full flex-wrap gap-x-8 gap-y-10"
|
||||
class="flex justify-around items-start w-full flex-wrap gap-x-8 gap-y-10"
|
||||
>
|
||||
<BlogStatBox />
|
||||
<StoryStatBox />
|
||||
|
BIN
public/images/posts/dongo-gaslight.jpg
Normal file
BIN
public/images/posts/dongo-gaslight.jpg
Normal file
Binary file not shown.
After Width: | Height: | Size: 9.4 KiB |
BIN
public/images/posts/dongo-party.png
Normal file
BIN
public/images/posts/dongo-party.png
Normal file
Binary file not shown.
After Width: | Height: | Size: 334 KiB |
BIN
public/images/posts/dongo.jpg
Normal file
BIN
public/images/posts/dongo.jpg
Normal file
Binary file not shown.
After Width: | Height: | Size: 13 KiB |
Loading…
Reference in New Issue
Block a user