---
title: "nerry the narwhal fan club!"
date: 2024-12-01
tags:
- nanowrimo
- monoceros (novel)
- epistolary
---

**Kai Nakayama** *created a new group **"nerry the narwhal fan club!"** with* **Sara Al-Dosari, Zahir Kirmani**

**Kai Nakayama** *changed their name to* **kai!**

<br />

**kai!:** wassup y'all!!

**kai!:** welcome to the nerry fan club

**kai!:** y'all better be nerry fans too or else i will hunt you down >:(

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<br />

**Sara Al-Dosari** *changed their name to* **sara**

<br />

**sara:** omg the narwhal's name is nerry?? wait i never knew that's so cute

**Zahir Kirmani:** it's just marketing. they're trying to manipulate us

**kai!:** zahir change your name to something fun

**Zahir Kirmani:** no

**sara:** can you stop imagining everyone is trying to manipulate you for ONE SECOND and just appreciate nerry

**Zahir Kirmani:** everyone wants something in the real world

**Zahir Kirmani:** even the people who drew nerry

<br />**kai!** *changed* **Zahir Kirmani***'s name to* **i must be fun at parties**

**i must be fun at parties** *changed their name to* **zahir**

<br />

**zahir:** no

**sara:** how many sticks can one man fit up his ass

---

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** hello :)

**April:** Hi! It's April!! My tab: 1x beverage at Monoceros

**April:** I'm gonna have to trust you to hold me to it

**Valerie:** will do o7

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, sara, zahir)*

**sara:** how is it possible that one man can possibly so stupid

**zahir:** what now

**zahir:** spit it out ik you're talking about me

**sara:** funny how you think i'm referring to you

**sara:** i wonder what that means

**zahir:** that i can tell how someone added to the group chat in the last two days and who i've barely spoken to thinks

**sara:** oh please

**sara:** how can someone wearing a dingy suit everywhere not have at least a couple loose screws. you have the ethical mindset of elon musk

**zahir:** i don't see how you can possibly justify that 

**kai!:** shockingly, zahir actually has principles

**kai!:** if you make him sign a contract in writing that stops him from taking cookies out of the cookie jar after midnight

**kai!:** he will actually stop taking cookies out from the cookie jar after midnight

**zahir:** exactly. my word is priceless

**kai!:** i wouldn't go THAT far

**kai!:** the fee for breach of contract is clearly stated on the contract as a hundred dollars

**zahir:** same difference

**sara:** true tbh

<br />

*Kai Nakayama, Zahir Kimani*

**Zahir:** my suit isn't dingy is it?

**Kai:** nope

**Kai:** it's dark gray and striped and perfect. nothing but perfection

**Zahir:** somehow i sense sarcasm coming from you

---

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**April:** Hi Vallie!!! I'll buy you a drink if you're by Monoceros and can be my rubber duck because my mind is BOUNCING with ideas 

**Valerie:** deal!! i'll be there in 3

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club (kai!, sara, zahir)*

**sara:** kai pancakes or waffles

**kai!:** depends! in what context

**zahir:** ...why tf does it change depending on the context

**sara:** for consumption

**kai!:** still depends! if like

**kai!:** you have a lot of syrup

**kai!:** pancakes get soggy super quickly

**kai!:** but they're fluffier right out of the gate right

**kai!:** so if you eat them fresh and light on toppings

**kai!:** they are heaven

**kai!:** but waffles last longer

**sara:** excuse me i did not come for a NUANCED answer one of us has to be right

**sara:** i asked some other people in the cafe and we keep tying up

**sara:** oop i think they're going pretty hard at it rn

**zahir:** i'm adding them here

**sara:** how rude of you to interrupt them and ask for their numbers

**sara:** for someone who talks to so many recruiters you are remarkably shit at talking to normal people

**kai!:** wait do i know them?

**zahir:** no idea. doesn't matter. this is more important

<br />

**zahir** *added* **April Evans, Valerie Torres** *to the group.*

<br />

**kai!:** hello new people!

**kai!:** ik y'all are having your pancake v waffle discussion but before you go back to reaming each other

**kai!:** are you nerry the narwhal fans?

<br />

**April Evans** *changed their name to* **April**

**Valerie Torres** *changed their name to* **valerie**

<br />

**April:** The mascot? Huge fan

**April:** The biggest fan

**April:** My entire novel is based around the narwhal

**April:** Its name is Nerry?

**kai!:** ya!

**kai!:** that's what the barista said when i asked him

**valerie:** i would die for him <3

**sara:** wait april you're writing a novel?? about narwhals?

**April:** Yep 🙂

**sara:** that is so cool

**zahir:** ahem. we're getting off-topic.

**kai!:** uh oh

**kai!:** zahir is grumpy!

**kai!:** he's bringing out the ending punctuation!!

**kai!:** sara beware

**sara:** oh i am here for it

**zahir:** shut up

**zahir:** as i was saying

**zahir:** we must come to a conclusion.

**zahir:** i have a proposal

**zahir:** kai if you want free food you should come to monoceros

**kai!:** free???? food????? from zahir?????? give me two mins

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**April:** Did you know "Monoceros" is a constellation of a unicorn?

**sara:** it's also the genus name for the narwhal!!

**sara:** which since we're all nerry fans here i expect none of you to betray nerry ever and make him sad

**April:** Is Nerry a girl? I always headcanoned her as a she

**valerie:** me too!

**sara:** no way

**sara:** nerry is clearly a guy's name

**sara:** like perry the platypus

**sara:** so nerry the narwhal

**kai!:** headcanon?

**zahir:** it means a belief that isn't part of the canon of the original work in a fandom

**kai!:** how do YOU know this

**sara:** yeah wait how does ZAHIR know this

**zahir:** no comment.

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**April:** In your opinions, why would someone suddenly become adventurous and risk everything they've built up over the last four years?

**sara:** love

**zahir:** stupidity

**kai!:** the duality of man

**sara:** the two are not mutually exclusive

**zahir:** the two are not mutually exclusive

**zahir:** i hate it when you do that

**sara:** you're telling me

**valerie:** change! something happens to the character and then the character has to change in return

**valerie:** this can include love or stupidity

**valerie:** (the two are not mutually exclusive)

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, sara, zahir, April, valerie)*

**kai!:** burning the midnight oil!

\[Attachment: \*2024-11-20_02_11.PNG\*\]

**April:** Yeah! I would join you guys since I've got an English assignment that's due in six hours but I *really* am not good at focusing in groups

**April:** You guys might have noticed today since I forgot my yap sign

**kai!:** maybe a teensy weensy bit

**kai!:** but it's okay!!

**sara:** what yap sign 👀

**valerie:** omg it's the cutest thing ever i swear

**valerie:** it's like a little "do not disturb i am a yapper" sign

**April:** Vallie!! My number one favourite rubber ducky 🦆

**valerie:** hi april!!!

**sara:** i need to see that holy crap that sounds ADORABLE

**sara:** april next time you're working ping me

**April:** Will do 🫡

<br />

*Kai Nakayama, Zahir Kirmani*

**zahir:** when are you coming back

**zahir:** i have to sleep. you know this.

**zahir:** i have an interview tomorrow morning.

**kai:** crap

**kai:** i am so sorry i forgot

**kai:** i will come back immediately

**zahir:** adding one to the tab

**kai:** cash it in whenever!

**kai:** but maybe not this week bc magnolia messaged me AGAIN about updating her commission

**zahir:** you should stop them from bossing you around so much

**kai:** no can do

**kai:** the customer is always right

**zahir:** if the customer is always right then the business owner is never wrong

**zahir:** fuck em

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**kai!:** i'm dying in statics rn

**kai!:** why are forces so complicated

**kai!:** they're not even real

**kai!:** my buildings aren't gonna suddenly collapse that's crazy

**April:** Oh no 🙁

**April:** I'm not a STEM student so I can't help you sorry

**sara:** i'm a stem kid but i major in the wrong kind of stem :p

**sara:** but i sorta feel you

**sara:** we have london forces in chem and those are real sons of bitches

**zahir:** sucks to be you

**sara:** ok zahir you're in business

**sara:** your whole program is basically self-study and pretentious mba wannabes jerking themselves off while pretending they're learning useful skills

**sara:** you probably aren't studying anything even remotely relevant

**zahir:** damn right i'm not

**zahir:** i'm here for my job and my degree and i'm dipping

<br />

Valerie looked over to see Zahir *tap-tap*ing away in the group chat.

<br />

**kai!:** fuck you too zahir

**kai!:** anyone wanna grab drinks tonight

**sara:** what happened to brunch mimosas :(

**kai!:** we should do that too!!

**kai!:** but i need a drink after this professor yaps my ear off and my usual gang is too busy recovering from him

**sara:** i'd never say no to more alcohol ;)

**zahir:** i need a drink too

**zahir:** there is too much bullshit in this world

**April:** Count me in! I get a little more creative under alcohol and I could use some of that creativity juice

**April:** Some of my best ideas come while I'm drunk

**April:** Vallie!! I will buy you a drink if you take notes for me

**valerie:** sign me up!!

---

*Valerie Torres, Zahir Kirmani*

**Valerie:** hey zahir! do you happen to know an aster remington in my year? he's also in business and he says that he knows you

**Zahir:** why.

**Valerie:** i wanted to check if you did know him

**Zahir:** i do. are you friends with him?

**Valerie:** not really, we just met, he seems nice

**Zahir:** i see. i suggest not being friends with him then

**Valerie:** why?

**Zahir:** he's a plagiarist. hasn't been caught yet

**Zahir:** and he doesn't know me. i know him.

**Valerie:** huh

**Valerie:** i...see

**Valerie:** i think

**Zahir:** that's all you need to know.

---

*Sara Al-Dosari, Zahir Kirmani*

**Sara:** i understand what it's like to be you now

**Zahir:** oh?

**Sara:** you're a jaded old man who's just done with all the bullshit

**Zahir:** and you just discovered the real world and became a tired old crone.

**Zahir:** been there done that. what else is new

**Sara:** altho with you i'm sure *most* people aren't idiots so you don't *have* to be that way

**Zahir:** i'm delighted to meet you, sara!!! i hope we become best friends!!

**Sara:** ew

**Sara:** never do that in front of me again

**Zahir:** that's what i thought.

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**sara:** that was super fun!! we should totally do brunch mimosas next

**sara:** hope everyone made it home safe!

**zahir:** kai is safe

**sara:** didn't you walk back together?

**zahir:** i am not safe

**zahir:** kai is stuck to me

**zahir:** not responding

**valerie:** omg i had way more than i d thoguht id haev

**valerie:** feeelung tge crash rn

**April:** Valerie, my light in this world

**valerie:** i am not sober enough to reply to that

**April:** You took such wonderful notes

**April:** I am forever in your debt

**valerie:** oh

**sara:** the most responsible one out of all of us

---

*Kai Nakayama created a new group:*

*all the nerry-lovers except zahir (kai!, sara, valerie, April)*

**kai!:** heyo! this is gonna be the zahir birthday chat

**kai!:** y'all free tuesday afternoon at monoceros?

**sara:** why in god's name did you guys pick a fucking COFFEE SHOP to host a birthday party

**sara:** sure i'm down

**valerie:** i think i can make it too!

**April:** Birthday party!!!! 🎉 Should we bring gifts? A cake?

**kai!:** i got the cake covered! oliver my good man told me they have cakes on the secret menu

**kai!:** gifts are optional depending on how much you like zahir

**sara:** monoceros secret menu??? tell me more

**kai!:** lol it's just wtv oliver can make with an oven

**sara:** that boy has golden hands let me tell you

**sara:** gave me a delicious fruit pastry the first night i was here at 3 in the morning

**valerie:** who's oliver?

**April:** He sounds wonderful 😊

**kai!:** oliver's the barista who works the night shift on weekdays and weekend afternoons!

**kai!:** kindest most politest soul

**sara:** facts

---

*Kai Nakayama, Zahir Kirmani*

**Zahir:** your present is stupid

**Kai:** sorry i can't hear you i'm on the other side of the room!!

**Kai:** maybe you should tell me in person!!!

**Zahir:** i don't even play zelda

**Zahir:** what am i supposed to do with it

**Zahir:** i still don't know you fit it in that pinata

**Kai:** you should say thank you for the present it was very considerate of you

**Zahir:** how was a link body pillow considerate in any way shape or form

**Kai:** not to me



*April Evans, Zahir Kirmani*

**Zahir:** thank you for the present it was very considerate of you

**April:** Haha no problem! Happy to hear that you liked it 😊

<br />

*Sara Al-Dosari, Zahir Kirmani*

**Zahir:** thank you for the present it was very considerate of you

**Sara:** kai put you up to this didn't he

**Zahir:** obviously

<br />

*Valerie Torres, Zahir Kirmani*

**Zahir:** thank you for the present it was very considerate of you

**Valerie:** um

<br />

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** help what does this mean?? i gave him a gift card?? is he saying my present sucked???

**April:** Wait, he sent me the exact same message

**Valerie:** oh

**Valerie:** oh must have been kai then

**April:** Like a leashed dog

**April:** Honestly that's a fun character archetype

**April:** Maybe I'll add a sidekick that's just like that

<br />

*Valerie Torres, Zahir Kirmani*

**Valerie:** glad to hear it!!

<br />

*Kai Nakayama, Zahir Kirmani*

**Zahir:** \[3 attachments\]

**Zahir:** are you happy now

**Kai:** delighted :D

---

*Kai Nakayama, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** kai is sneaky

**Kai:** ???

**Kai:** elaborate????

**Kai:** is this about today

**Valerie:** oh uh

**Valerie:** like you're very perceptive

**Valerie:** and stuff

**Kai:** aww thanks!

<br />

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE A PHONE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**April:** Guys I need a second opinion

**valerie:** i can be a second opinion!

**kai!:** i can be a third opinion!

**sara:** if you really need it i can be numero quatre

**zahir:** i was the first opinion.

**kai!:** acc i don't wanna be behind zahir

**sara:** me neither i'm also out

**April:** Guys 😢

**sara:** ok nvm with that sad face who could resist

**kai!:** i'm back in too

**sara:** i came back first tho so that means i'm third opinion now

**kai!:** no way i was here first

**sara:** too bad so sad you also left first

**kai!:** noooo!! wait

**kai!:** val you held my place in line right?

**sara:** no vallie you didn't

**sara:** or if you did you would give it to me right?

**sara:** because you like me more than kai

**kai!:** FOUL

**kai!:** WHAT ARE THESE BACK ROOM DEALS

**kai!:** I AM BEING CONSPIRED AGAINST

**valerie:** i am an unbiased party and did not hold a place for anyone

**valerie:** sooo first come first serve sara gets third opinion

**sara:** knew i could count on you <3

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**sara:** fuck

**zahir:** what now

**sara:** fuck

**zahir:** do you know any other words

**sara:** yes

**sara:** fuck

**valerie:** sara?

<br />

*Sara Al-Dosari, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** sara is everything alright?

<br />

*Kai Nakayama, Sara Al-Dosari*

**Kai:** everything ok?

<br />

*April Evans, Sara Al-Dosari*

**April:** Did something happen with Hasan?

---

*Kai Nakayama, Zahir Kirmani*

**zahir:** relationships are the most annoying thing in the world to deal with.

**zahir:** so volatile

**kai!:** wdym

**kai!:** omg??

**kai!:** did you??

**kai!:** find someone????

**kai!:** i can't believe it pigs are flying

**zahir:** that's not what happened.

**kai!:** acc wait that sounds more like you broke up?

**kai!:** zahir explain

**kai!:** zahir what happened

---

*Sara Al-Dosari, Valerie Torres*

**Sara:** sorry for getting back to you so late!! i wasn't really in a good state of mind last night so i didn't respond but i really appreciated your help today :)

**Valerie:** noooo don't apologise it wasn't your fault

**Valerie:** my dms are always open if you want to talk!!

**Sara:** thanks :)

<br />*April Evans, Sara Al-Dosari*

**Sara:** sorry for getting back to you so late!! i wasn't really in a good state of mind last night so i didn't respond but i really appreciated your help today :)

**April:** Glad to hear it helped! I'm always available if you want to chat about anything at all anytime :)

**Sara:** ty :)

---

*Kai Nakayama, Sara Al-Dosari*

**Sara:** sorry i left you on read btw

**Sara:** i was gonna reply later but i forgot until now

**Kai:** haha no i totally understand dw

**Sara:** gonna bring a friend if that's ok

**Sara:** you don't need to buy her drinks

**Kai:** no prob!

**Sara:** also might be a bit late

**Kai:** nw keep me posted!!

**Kai:** take all the time in the world

**Kai:** and if you change your mind that's totally ok too

**Sara:** no i def want to do this

**Sara:** it's prob rly dumb and def rly unhealthy but i can't imagine anything better to do

**Kai:** mood

---

*Zahir Kirmani, Kai Nakayama*

**Zahir:** what did you tell valerie to tell me

**Kai:** ?

**Kai:** i didn't tell her anything

**Zahir:** are you sure

**Zahir:** she came up to me and told me basically the exact same thing you tried to tell me last year

**Zahir:** do you really expect me to believe you had nothing to do with it

**Kai:** yes

**Zahir:** ok interesting

**Kai:** it's probably you

**Kai:** think about it

**Kai:** what's more likely

**Kai:** everyone else is wrong

**Kai:** or you're wrong

**Zahir:** correctness is subjective

**Kai:** wtf no it's not

**Zahir:** there is no correct answer

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, sara, zahir, April, valerie)*

**kai!:** holy crap

**kai!:** did you know oliver can make mimosas

**kai!:** breakfast mimosas

**kai!:** it's not technically part of their menu but like i mean

**kai!:** what else is a coffee shop gonna do with champagne

**kai!:** idk why they even stock champagne

**April:** Monoceros sells breakfast mimosas? 😮

**sara:** ALCOHOL????

**sara:** in the morning?????

**sara:** kai you know what this means

**sara:** i'll see you in twenty

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, sara, zahir, April, valerie)*

**sara:** guys oliver has given me so much free food

**kai!:** guys oliver has given me so many free drinks

**kai!:** \[attachment: image.png\]

**kai!:** you guys are missing out

**kai!:** mimosas till noon baby

**April:** Is this…the legendary Oliver? I remember him

**valerie:** april i'll go if you go…but idk if i'm gonna get drinks

**April:** I'll pass on the drinks too but it seems like you guys are having fun!

**zahir:** i've decided i need a drink now.

**kai!:** cmooooon

**kai!:** even ZAHIR mr party pooper is drinking

**sara:** yes come!! even if you aren gonna drink you should come!! it'll be a fun time

**sara:** kai dont pressure them into drinking

**kai!:** sorry maam

**sara:** all is forgiven

**kai!:** thank you maam

**sara:** but as recompense you must pour me another glass

**kai!:** hell yeah

---

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**April:** What happened?

**Valerie:** i can't handle sara

**Valerie:** oh my god

**Valerie:** she is going to give me a heart attack someday i can't take it

**April:** What'd she do?

**Valerie:** she will dress you up like a piece of chicken and whisper guilty devils in your ear

**April:** That's the most metaphorical thing I've ever heard you say

**Valerie:** i CANNOT repeat her WORDS april or i will DIE

**Valerie:** so help me god

**April:** Want me to intervene?

**Valerie:** no it's ok

**Valerie:** but thanks!!

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**kai!:** hey y'all!!

**kai!:** happy thursday hope everyone is stayin alive

**kai!:** what clubs are you guys in?

**kai!:** and do you think you could drag me and zahir around bc this man was so traumatised by the business clubs he didn't join any other club

**sara:** that explains so much

**sara:** i'm in the medsci club! so probably not super helpful but i'd be down to help

**sara:** sometimes i go to socratica (where you work on a project and show it off)

**sara:** i also used to do archery but those days are long past

**sara:** i still keep in touch with a few members so i could point you there too

**April:** I'm in creative writing (no surprises there)

**April:** We have weeklies every Thursday at 9 pm

**April:** I'm also in the cheese club? If you're interested in that

**valerie:** i'm in the tea club!! people just come in and out so it's super chill for new members to join whenever

**valerie:** but kai i think you're also in there?

**valerie:** i'm also in the board games club, poker club, and robotics club

**kai!:** heh yeah vallie i still owe you admission for the last two weeks

**kai!:** thanks guys!!

**kai!:** i'll pass these on

**zahir:** i'm also in this group chat

**kai!:** oh yeah

**kai!:** you can look at them yourself then :D

<br />

*Zahir Kirmani, Sara Al-Dosari*

**Zahir:** what's socratica

**Sara:** very simple

**Sara:** you pick something you want to work on

**Sara:** it can be anything

**Sara:** then at the end of the 3 h work session everyone shows off what they made

**Sara:** (everyone else there is also picking something to work on)

**Sara:** ngl i can see you fitting in there

**Zahir:** i agree

**Zahir:** there is potential.

**Sara:** ...if you want me to go with you you can just say so

**Zahir:** don't bother

**Zahir:** send me the information and i'll find my own time

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, sara, zahir, April, valerie)*

**April:** Guys I'm afraid Zahir is going to commit a felony

**April:** He's assured me that everything he's doing is completely above board but for some reason I have my doubts

**kai!:** if he told you it's legal it's probably legal!

**kai!:** but what is it 👀

**kai!:** he never tells me all of his fun plans until the damage is already done

**April:** Originally it was identity theft? But apparently that wasn't bad enough so now I'm a little scared that he's going to ruin some guy's life

**kai!:** oh shit

**kai!:** worse than identity theft??

**sara:** pretty sure that's a crime

**kai!:** tbh it's more unusual that he plans something stupid without involving any crimes

**April:** Yeah so he's not doing that and instead he's applied to every single position that this Aster guy applied to and I'm not too sure about the details but it means that the Aster guy will never get a job?

**valerie:** wait does that work?

**valerie:** don't job postings usually have multiple openings?

**April:** I just asked him about this and all he said was, "Connections"

**sara:** ykw i don't really get how it works but i'm not gonna get in the way between zahir and something he's laser focused on

**kai!:** good line of thinking there sara

**kai!**: it took me two months before i stopped getting in the way and becoming collateral damage

**kai!:** my credit score is still recovering

---

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**April:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Valerie:** sara got you too i see!

**April:** You were right

**April:** I have never felt so taken care of

**April:** This must be what it's like to have older siblings

**Valerie:** i don't know how she does it with a straight face

**April:** The sincerity kills me

---

*April Evans, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** back

**April:** Glad to hear it!

**Valerie:** i'm sorry about today, i know we were supposed to hang out

**Valerie:** i'll talk to you tomorrow? maybe after your classes we can meet at monoceros again

**Valerie:** i'll buy you a drink

**April:** That works for me, I'll see you then

<br />

*April Evans, Kai Nakayama, Valerie Torres*

**Kai:** gonna give y'all some space!!

**Kai:** i'll be back to see nerry in hour but lmk if i should come back later

---

*Sara Al-Dosari, Valerie Torres*

**Valerie:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Sara:** what's up?

**Valerie:** nothing sorry i needed to get that out of my system

**Valerie:** i should invest in a dedicated pillow to scream into at this rate

**Sara:** def would recommend

**Sara:** i have one and it's so useful

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**zahir:** the coffee shop is closed for renovations

**zahir:** \[attachment: *image.png*\]

**kai!:** NOOOOOOOOO

**kai!:** this is a tragedy

**valerie:** any idea when it reopens?

**zahir:** doesn't say

**sara:** NOOOOOOOO

**sara:** MY FREE SNACKS

**April:** MY NARWHAL

**kai!:** MY CABBAGES

**valerie:** :(

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**sara:** did anyone else just see zahir walk across campus with someone else not in this group chat or did i drink too much last night again

**kai!:** that's impossible

**kai!:** he HATES his classes

**kai!:** and his classmates by extension

**kai!:** time to lay off the third round of drinks sara

**valerie:** i saw him too! he's with someone in my communications class, i think his name was shane?

**valerie:** i didn't know they knew each other

**kai!:** i

**kai!:** wow!

**kai!:** we should throw a party to celebrate this momentous occasion

<br />

*Kai Nakayama, Zahir Kirmani*

**kai!:** i've never been more proud

**zahir:** wtf are you talking about

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**April:** Hey guys! Anyone doing anything fun today?

**zahir:** i have found an accomplice and we are currently in the process of making aster remington rue the day he entered this world

**April:** That's cool! Anyone else?

**sara:** studying for my final tmrw :/

**April:** Sara get off your phone and go back to studying girl

**sara:** yes ma'am

**sara:** turning it off now ma'am

**kai!:** val and i are at tea club if you wanna join us!

**kai!:** they're serving lavender with apple today

**valerie:** it's rather delectable

**valerie:** april you should come if you're free!

**April:** Ooh sounds fun! How do I get there?

**valerie:** it's at 18 waverly

**valerie:** beside the genomics building

**valerie:** follow the big sign that says tea club once you get inside!

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**kai!:** suck it sara april is going to tea club now

**kai!:** you know what that means

**sara:** crap

**sara:** i'll buy you a drink when monoceros reopens

**sara:** dammit april why'd you have to be into tea?

**sara:** i thought you would be a coffee enjoyer through and through

**April:** I am

**April:** I did NOT like the tea but more importantly

**April:** You guys bet on me??

**sara:** ofc

**sara:** there was a drink on the line

**April:** I'm shocked

**April:** I'm disappointed

**April:** I can't believe this

**zahir:** oh april went to tea club and stayed?

**zahir:** valerie you owe me a danish

**valerie:** aw fine

**April:** VALLIE???

---

*Fiona Patel, Sara Al-Dosari*

**Fiona:** sara!

**Fiona:** somehow we live together but it's been ages since we did anything together

**Fiona:** clem wants to see the new kung fu panda movie so we got tickets for the amc at 18th st in like two hours

**Fiona:** sorry for the short notice! wanna come?

**Sara:** yes!! buy the tickets for me?

**Fiona:** i gotchu

**Fiona:** let's meet back at home before we leave?

**Sara:** sounds good!

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**sara:** holy crap i need to rant about the newest kung fu panda

**sara:** i will never forgive dreamworks for their heinous crime

**sara:** they butchered my boy and sent him to a farm upstate "to retire happily for the rest of his life" my ass

**April:** The writing definitely took a nosedive with the fourth one yeah

**April:** The third one was already a cut below the first two

**kai!:** agree

**kai!:** kfp 2 was peak kfp imo

**valerie:** i liked the first one the best! simple happy vibes

**valerie:** 2 was kinda dark wasn't it?

**April:** Trauma!!! Definitely a big tone shift but Po went through SO much character development

**April:** It's also my favourite one

**sara:** no vallie's right it's supposed to be COMEDY

**sara:** i don't want stinky sad emotions in my comedy

**zahir:** what are you all talking about

**zahir:** the fourth one was far and away the best one because it had zhen in it

**zahir:** easily the best character in the franchise

**valerie:** oh boy

<br />

*Several people are typing...*

<br />

**sara:** i'm impressed

**sara:** somehow you managed to hit the 25% chance of picking the worst movie

**sara:** then having the worst possible opinion about that movie

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**kai!:** i was not expecting to learn today that zahir was better at cooking than i am

**valerie:** but you guys live together

**zahir:** anyone can cook better than kai

**zahir:** it is a very low bar

**April:** Not gonna lie I didn't expect that

**April:** Zahir what can you make?

**zahir:** pasta

**April:** ...Kai what can you make?

**kai!:** pasta

**zahir:** no you can't

**zahir:** stop lying

**kai!:** no i can't :(

**kai!:** but zahir can also make curry

**sara:** you can't??

**kai!:** i don't know how to cook ;-;

**sara:** ok i thought that was like

**sara:** could not fry an egg or something

**sara:** i did not expect it to be could-not-boil-an-egg level

**kai!:** i can boil an egg!

**kai!:** but with curry you have to watch the water levels and make sure you don't add too many vegetables or else it becomes watery

**April:** Then you use starch to thicken it up

**valerie:** you can also add more curry paste if it's not strong enough!

**valerie:** that can happen when it's watery

**kai!:** all of you are culinary geniuses

**sara:** idk what to tell you man this is kinda on you

**sara:** even vallie knows and she can't even eat curry bc she dies to spicy food

---

*nerry the narwhal fan club! (kai!, zahir, sara, April, valerie)*

**valerie:** guys you would not believe what just happened!!

**valerie:** i bumped into oliver(!!) on my way to class today and he said that monoceros was gonna reopen next week!

**valerie:** apparently they also posted that on their insta but i wasn't following them

**sara:** BIG NEWS

**kai!:** OMG NERRY

**kai!:** MY BELOVED I'VE MISSED YOU FOR SO LONG

**April:** NERRY

**kai!:** i expect all of you to be there on reopening day

**kai!:** no exceptions

**kai!:** i'll bring board games!

**sara:** game night?? wait that's acc such a great idea

**kai!:** hype hype hype

**valerie:** that's so fire bro!!

**April:** Vallie

**April:** When did you learn that

**valerie:** ;)

**sara:** we've lost her to gen z

**sara:** rip vallie </3

**zahir:** i call top hat