content: add the dark side

components/CommitStatBox.vue

@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ onMounted(async () => {
 <template>
   <div class="prose dark:prose-invert">
     <HomeStatBox
-      :href="href"
+      :href
       id="github-commit-a"
       color="lightgray"
       darkcolor="slategray"

components/Date.vue

@@ -2,10 +2,10 @@
 import { getPrettyDate, getUtcDate } from "~~/shared/metadata";
 import type { AnyParsedContent } from "~~/shared/types";
 
-const props = defineProps<{ doc: AnyParsedContent }>();
+const { doc } = defineProps<{ doc: AnyParsedContent }>();
 
-const prettyDate = getPrettyDate(props.doc);
-const utcDate = getUtcDate(props.doc);
+const prettyDate = getPrettyDate(doc);
+const utcDate = getUtcDate(doc);
 </script>
 
 <template>

components/HomeStatBox.vue

@@ -1,20 +1,22 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 import type { Color, ViewportLength } from "csstype";
 
-const props = withDefaults(
-  defineProps<{
-    href?: string;
-    id?: string;
-    color?: Color;
-    darkcolor?: Color;
-    title?: string;
-    clearstyles?: boolean;
-    forceheight?: ViewportLength<"rem">;
-  }>(),
-  { color: "pink", darkcolor: "#c88994", clearstyles: false }
-);
+const {
+  color = "pink",
+  darkcolor = "#c88994",
+  clearstyles = false,
+  ...props
+} = defineProps<{
+  href?: string;
+  id?: string;
+  color?: Color;
+  darkcolor?: Color;
+  title?: string;
+  clearstyles?: boolean;
+  forceheight?: ViewportLength<"rem">;
+}>();
 
-const padding = props.clearstyles ? "0" : "1rem";
+const padding = clearstyles ? "0" : "1rem";
 const height = props.forceheight ?? "100%";
 
 // v-bind DOES NOT WORK on initial render
@@ -23,17 +25,13 @@ const height = props.forceheight ?? "100%";
 const cssVars = {
   "--padding": padding,
   "--height": height,
-  "--color": props.color,
-  "--darkcolor": props.darkcolor,
+  "--color": color,
+  "--darkcolor": darkcolor,
 };
 </script>
 
 <template>
-  <a
-    class="no-underline inline-block flex flex-col items-stretch"
-    :href="href"
-    :id="id"
-  >
+  <a class="no-underline inline-block flex flex-col items-stretch" :href :id>
     <div class="container box" :style="cssVars">
       <p class="m-0 w-full title">{{ title }}</p>
       <div class="main-content">

components/Navbar.vue

@@ -1,8 +1,6 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 import ColourPicker from "./ColourPicker.vue";
 import { navItems } from "@/data/navItems";
-
-const props = defineProps<{ activeItem?: string }>();
 </script>
 
 <template>
@@ -85,9 +83,15 @@ li.home-text {
 * {
   --trans: 0.2s ease;
   --box-trans-time: 0.4s;
-  transition: opacity var(--trans), transform var(--trans), gap var(--trans),
-    width var(--trans), box-shadow var(--box-trans-time) ease,
-    filter var(--trans), padding-left var(--trans), padding-right var(--trans);
+  transition:
+    opacity var(--trans),
+    transform var(--trans),
+    gap var(--trans),
+    width var(--trans),
+    box-shadow var(--box-trans-time) ease,
+    filter var(--trans),
+    padding-left var(--trans),
+    padding-right var(--trans);
 }
 
 @media screen and (max-width: 600px) {

components/PostPreviewCard.vue

@@ -4,15 +4,15 @@ import { calcReadingTime } from "@/shared/metadata";
 import { SpecialTags } from "@/data/specialTags";
 import IconStar from "@/assets/images/star.svg?component";
 
-const props = defineProps<{
+const { post, type } = defineProps<{
   post: AnyParsedContent;
   type: "stories" | "blog";
   highlighttags?: string[];
 }>();
 
-const readingTime = calcReadingTime(props.post);
+const readingTime = calcReadingTime(post);
 const descText =
-  props.type === "stories"
+  type === "stories"
     ? `${readingTime.words.total} words`
     : `${readingTime.minutes} min read`;
 </script>
@@ -22,10 +22,7 @@ const descText =
     class="break-words max-w-full rounded-lg p-4 shadow-md border border-2 border-gray-300 dark:border-gray-600"
   >
     <h3 class="m-0 flex items-center gap-1.5">
-      <a
-        :href="`/tags/${props.type}/featured`"
-        v-if="post.tags.includes('featured')"
-      >
+      <a :href="`/tags/${type}/featured`" v-if="post.tags.includes('featured')">
         <IconStar class="fill-yellow-500 outline-none" />
       </a>
       <a

components/ProjectCard.vue

@@ -1,14 +1,12 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 import type { Project } from "@/data/projects";
 import { unref as _unref } from "vue";
-const props = defineProps<{
+const { project } = defineProps<{
   project: Project;
   reverse?: boolean;
 }>();
 
-const imgUrl = props.project.img
-  ? `url(/images/projects/${props.project.img})`
-  : "none";
+const imgUrl = project.img ? `url(/images/projects/${project.img})` : "none";
 </script>
 
 <template>

components/ServiceCard.vue

@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
-const props = defineProps<{
+const { img } = defineProps<{
   name: string;
   href: string;
   img: string;
@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ const props = defineProps<{
   broken?: boolean;
 }>();
 
-const imgUrl = `/images/services/${props.img}`;
+const imgUrl = `/images/services/${img}`;
 </script>
 
 <template>
@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ const imgUrl = `/images/services/${props.img}`;
   >
     <div class="card flex flex-col items-center justify-around">
       <img class="m-0" :src="imgUrl" :alt="`${name} logo`" />
-      <h3 class="m-0">{{ props.name }}</h3>
+      <h3 class="m-0">{{ name }}</h3>
       <p class="desc-text text-gray-600 dark:text-gray-200"><slot /></p>
     </div>
   </a>

components/Tag.vue

@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
-const props = defineProps<{
+const { highlight } = defineProps<{
   name: string;
   dest: string;
   highlight?: boolean;
@@ -8,20 +8,18 @@ const props = defineProps<{
 // const isLinkableTag = !props.name.includes(" ");
 const isLinkableTag = true;
 const tagClass = [
-  "inline-block text-xs rounded-lg py-1 px-2 mt-1 mr-1 transition border border-pink-200 dark:border-pink-900 border-2 font-medium",
-  { "bg-pink-200 dark:bg-pink-900": props.highlight },
+  "inline-block text-xs rounded-lg py-1 px-2 mt-1 mr-1 transition border border-pink-200 dark:border-pink-900 border-2 font-medium no-underline",
+  { "bg-pink-200 dark:bg-pink-900": highlight },
   { "shadow-md": isLinkableTag },
 ];
 </script>
 
 <template>
-  <a :href="dest" v-if="isLinkableTag">
-    <div :class="tagClass">
+  <div :class="tagClass">
+    <a :href="dest" v-if="isLinkableTag">
       {{ name }}
-    </div>
-  </a>
-  <div v-else>
-    <div :class="tagClass">
+    </a>
+    <div v-else>
       {{ name }}
     </div>
   </div>

components/content/ProseImg.vue

@@ -1,9 +1,6 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
-const props = withDefaults(defineProps<{ src: string; alt?: string }>(), {
-  alt: "",
-});
+const { src, alt = "" } = defineProps<{ src: string; alt?: string }>();
 
-const src = props.src;
 const imgSrc =
   src.startsWith("http://") || src.startsWith("https://")
     ? src

components/index/about.vue

@@ -27,27 +27,33 @@ import { projects } from "@/data/projects";
     </p>
     <ul>
       <li>competitive programming on DMOJ</li>
-      <li>GUI toolkits very very briefly in GTK, Qt, and Swing</li>
       <li>Linux and server administration</li>
-      <li>web development in the form of a Chrome extension and my sites</li>
+      <li>web development</li>
       <li>hackathons</li>
-      <li>Godot Engine Cat Simulator DX</li>
       <li>ski instruction</li>
       <li>writing of literature</li>
-      <li>emulation</li>
+      <li>video game console emulation</li>
     </ul>
     <p>…and other things that I'm forgetting right now.</p>
     <p>
-      I have two server machines at home — a Dell OptiPlex 780 and a Dell
-      Latitude E5520. One of them is a laptop and
+      I have three server machines at home — a Dell OptiPlex 780, a Dell
+      Latitude E5520, and a custom-built PC. One of them is a laptop and
       <s>I'm surprised it hasn't burnt up yet </s>
       <span class="redphasis">it has burnt up.</span>
     </p>
+    <h3>Custom PC ("hwaboon")</h3>
+    <ul>
+      <li><strong>CPU:</strong> AMD Ryzen 7700X (8c/16t)</li>
+      <li><strong>GPU:</strong> Integrated</li>
+      <li><strong>RAM:</strong> 2× 16 GB DDR5</li>
+      <li><strong>Storage:</strong> Crucial P3 1 TB SSD</li>
+      <li><strong>OS:</strong> Arch Linux</li>
+    </ul>
     <h3>OptiPlex 780 ("asvyn")</h3>
     <ul>
       <li><strong>CPU:</strong> Intel Core 2 Duo E8400 (2c/2t)</li>
       <li><strong>GPU:</strong> AMD ATI Radeon HD 3450</li>
-      <li><strong>RAM:</strong> 2× 1 GB DDR + 1× 2 GB DDR2</li>
+      <li><strong>RAM:</strong> 2× 2 GB DDR3</li>
       <li><strong>Storage:</strong> Western Digital 150 GB hard drive</li>
       <li><strong>OS:</strong> Arch Linux</li>
     </ul>

content/stories/nanowrimo/2022-the-dark-side.md

@@ -0,0 +1,81 @@
+---
+title: The Dark Side
+date: 2022-11-30
+tags:
+- nanowrimo
+- u of t
+---
+
+**Content warning: Depictions of public bathrooms & potty humour.**
+
+"They ran out of tofu!"
+
+"What?" Yanfei whirls around in her chair, miserable dumpling forgotten. "But there was such a big tray out earlier!"
+
+"People must have taken it all." Hu Tao shrugs. "That was fast. Maybe they'll have more later." A stomach gurgles, and she chuckles. "I guess I'll have to get something else — wait. That wasn't me."
+
+"Bath…room…" Xingqiu's face is pale as he queasily stands, clutching his stomach. Without another word, he dashes off in the direction of the nearest restroom.
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+"Huh. He always had a sensitive stomach. I guess the fish did him dirty. Wait," Hu Tao pales, "*I* also had the fish…" Another stomach gurgles, and she bolts after Xingqiu.
+
+"The chef must not have properly cooked it," Shinobu says. "Well, I'm pretty sure it's impossible to make rice give you food poisoning, and the fish was the only thing both of them ate."
+
+Yanfei's stomach gurgles and she reflexively looks in the direction Hu Tao and Xingqiu hurried off to. She pales.
+
+Shinobu snaps her fingers. "Oh, right. Also the tofu." She pats Yanfei's shoulder sympathetically. "Maybe you should catch up before it's too late. It'll come rushing out all at once."
+
+
+
+------
+
+
+
+Shinobu is a liar. It does not come rushing out all at once. Yanfei buries her face in her hands, butt planted firmly on the toilet seat as fluids intermittently fall into the toilet bowl. The yellow kind stopped falling long ago.
+
+"Yanfei," Hu Tao croaks from the stall next to her. "The tofu got you too?" She flushes the toilet, but Yanfei knows that she won't be getting up anytime soon.
+
+Yanfei empties her own bowl. It soon fills up again to accommodate the recent group of refugees from her body. "It's not the tofu," she insists weakly, squeezing her eyes shut. "It's *never* the tofu." Tofu wouldn't cause her physical pain to stand up. Tofu would embrace her and tell her everything's okay, that her stomach isn't the one cramping out and vomiting in the wrong direction, that the mouth on her other end isn't retching gravy and spitting all over the bowl of chocolate soup.
+
+"I thought plants couldn't give you food poisoning!"
+
+*It doesn't stop.* A river is flowing through her body. She imagines all of the microbes going whitewater rafting to exit her system. Only the water is neither white nor water. And the raft has spikes on the outside, as if designed to cause her the most suffering possible. She grits her teeth. "Hu Tao."
+
+"Yeah?"
+
+"Shut up."
+
+"Gotcha."
+
+Yanfei supposes she might be an avatar of sorts. Earth. Water. Air. The three elements lived together in harmony, expelling themselves one by one, until the Fire Nation attacked. Now there is nothing but pain and chaos. She wills it to stop.
+
+Evidently she's still an avatar-in-training, because the elements don't obey her and continue to push past each other in a race to the finish line. Earth makes it first, but Air shoves right past it in a terrific blast of sound as Water tries to catch up.
+
+The bathroom door opens. "Oh, *god* —" someone curses, and the bathroom door closes. She can't blame them.
+
+Yanfei loses track of time. Has it been five minutes? Twenty? An hour? The occasional sound of ripping toilet paper and toilet flushes breaks the monotony of collective discharge. She's ascended to a higher plane, she feels. It's freeing — until her stomach brings her back to reality with a cheerful *mrrgle* as if taunting her.
+
+"Yanfei?" Yanfei doesn't respond. "Do you have more toilet paper?"
+
+There's a second roll inside the compartment, but she's already used up half of her current roll. "Yeah."
+
+"Can you…pass it over?"
+
+Struggling to concentrate in her fevered state, Yanfei manages to unclasp the toilet paper roll holder with some effort. "I…can't. Do you think you can —" she gasps as more of her temporary tenants evict themselves, "— get one from the next stall?" Where do they all come from? There never was this much space in the housing market in the first place.
+
+"I can try." Hu Tao doesn't sound terribly enthused. "It…" she grunts, "it just doesn't stop…" A beat later, the stall door beside Yanfei's bursts open and she sees Hu Tao's shoes shuffle over awkwardly to the opposite stall. Her heart fills with dread when she hears a *drrbl* in the midst of Hu Tao fiddling with the toilet paper mechanism. "No, no, no —"
+
+The stall door beside Yanfei *slams* shut and Hu Tao gasps with relief when she throws herself back in the stall. She can't even spare several seconds, Yanfei despairs. She's going to be trapped here forever. Here, in this dungeon, against a dragon inside of her that constantly feels the urge to breathe fire.
+
+She hangs her head, resigning herself to her fate.
+
+
+
+------
+
+
+
+Hu Tao supports Yanfei after they wash their hands — thoroughly — and pulls them out of the women's bathroom. As they exit the bathroom together, Xingqiu stumbles out from the opposite door, eyes haunted. "I am never eating here ever again."
+
+"Xingqiu," Hu Tao's eyes well up with tears as she embraces him. "*I understand*. You've been through *so much* alone."

content/stories/nanowrimo/emma-the-narwhal.md

@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+---
+title: "Emma the Narwhal"
+date: 2024-12-02
+tags:
+- nanowrimo
+- "monoceros (novel)"
+- "emma the narwhal"
+---
+
+**Summary:** Emma the narwhal. April paused. For the first time in a long, long while, she saw it. In her mind's eye, she could see Emma's entire life, from her first narwhal date to her first beaching to her first narwhal war.
+
+Holy shit. This was a *banger* of an idea. Who knew that a strange fish in a coffee shop would give her the laxatives she needed?
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+---
+
+April almost made it four pages into Jane Austen's *Emma* before her mind wandered off back to Thailand where they had sessions to watch pineapples grow in real time that were more interesting than trying to follow Emma's ramblings.
+
+She sighed, putting the book back on the shelf. If only Emma was like a narwhal, swimming in the skies, going on adventures to save the ocean from those toxic humans — maybe then it'd be a more interesting story.
+
+Emma the narwhal. She paused. For the first time in a long, long while, she saw it. In her mind's eye, she could see Emma's entire life, from her first narwhal date to her first beaching to her first narwhal war.
+
+Holy shit. This was a *banger* of an idea. Who knew that a strange fish in a coffee shop would give her the laxatives she needed?
+
+---
+
+*Emma sailed across the Herculean Sea, her tusk dipping in and out of the clouds flowing around her.*
+
+No, that was too ambiguous. 
+
+*Emma the narwhal, freshly orphaned by the death of her parents in a tragic accident involving the betrayal of her best sky narwhal friend, moped around the Sea of Clouds.* 
+
+Too much fantasy. Also it spoiled the entire plot, and April couldn't have that, oh no, certainly not. 
+
+*Once upon a time, in a sky far far away...* 
+
+---
+
+"It's only ten thousand gold," Emma insisted. "Come on, please?" She batted her eyelids this time. 
+
+"I'm sorry, miss," the bank teller said. "I can't make an exception for you, no matter who your mother is. Now, I must ask that you leave the premises." He lowered his tusk at them, marking the end of the discussion.
+
+But Emma wasn't done with him yet, absolutely not. She had ten thousand gold in her bank account and she was not about to be swindled by some rainbow-headed narwhal with his head below the clouds. 
+
+Harriet nudged Emma's side before she could raise more objections. "It's not worth it, Emma. We'll find another way to get your treasure." She side-eyed the teller. "Mister Kingsley might know something." 
+
+Emma huffed, but followed Harriet back to their sky-cave. "What a dingus." 
+
+"I mean, you're four years old and definitely look it. But yeah. Fuck that guy." 
+
+---
+
+And thus Emma and Harriet returned home to their sky caves, scheming under the faint rays of sun that seeped past the clouds around them.
+
+"What are we looking for, Emma?" said Harriet.
+
+Emma consulted the will once more. It was frustratingly unclear. What could "Chase the light that pierced the clouds" possibly mean? The sun was the only light she could imagine, and the sun went through every cloud.
+
+Emma knew her parents had a fun sense of humour, but she thought they knew that there was a time and place. At least they could have told her what the reward was, just in case she didn't want to spend her teenage years chasing the gold at the end of the rainbow. She could stay in her cushy office job, pushing her cushy little buttons, and not risk a single thing. She was comfortable.
+
+---
+
+"I don't know who you are anymore," Emma whispered. "Harriet, how long did you hide this from me? From my parents?"
+
+Harriet chortled, a strange, unnatural sound that Emma had never heard from her best friend before. "Oh, Emma, dear, did you really think *no one* knew about their will? Where there's a will, there's a way. For people to find out about the money."
+
+---
+
+"All of those years. Was it all for nothing? Was it ever real?" Emma said in a daze, floating without any real direction, letting the wind current take her as it pleased.
+
+Harriet prodded her from behind. "Keep swimming. That's right, Emma. I never loved you one bit," she spat. "You should have listened to Lan. He was trying to warn you, you know." Her eyes glittered. "But you never listened. Pushed him away, even. He was protected when he was close to you. We couldn't touch him. But you...all I had to do was plant the smallest seed of doubt in your mind and you nurtured it, let it grow until it towered over any feelings you might have had for that boy," she crowed.
+
+"What have I done?" Emma whispered.
+
+---
+
+The end of the journey was nearly here. Emma the narwhal had escaped her captor's grasp, betrayed and cast aside once she was no longer needed like her parents before her, and built her way back up in the underground. She was hardened. She was rugged. She wasn't the old Emma anymore. No, there was no light left for her in this world. The shadows of the criminal empire she'd created after overthrowing shark kingpin Jesse Pinkfong could not match the darkness in her heart.
+
+She'd killed Harriet herself. She almost couldn't believe Emma had ever been captured by Harriet and her motley band of mercenaries. It had been downright easy to kill off every single one of them one by one.
+
+The way Harriet had screamed, begged,* pleaded *with her when she'd had her brought before her had almost caused her to chuckle. She'd sawed off Harriet's tusk herself.
+
+She had been at the peak of her revenge. Her enemies sortied, her power absolute, she was on top of the world. The earth bowed to her, her destiny manifest.
+
+Yet no matter how high she rose, no matter how much influence she wielded — it could never bring the old Emma back. She had died when the hope had faded from her eyes long, long ago, and all that was left was a hollow monster puppeting her body. She was not Emma any longer. That name did not belong to her.
+
+Although she was not Emma, perhaps she could fulfill some of the girl's dreams, in her honour. In memory of the narwhal who loved the world but the world did not love back, she would move heaven and earth for her.
+
+She would bring to the narwhal race a new order. She would be christened…
+
+Skyler, Monarch of the Sky Narwhals.

content/stories/nanowrimo/excerpts-2021.md

@@ -0,0 +1,67 @@
+---
+title: "Selected Excerpts from NaNoWriMo 2021"
+date: 2024-09-23
+tags:
+  - nanowrimo
+  - featured
+---
+
+You're lucky he hasn't spotted you, otherwise you might've had to talk to the man in the moustache. It's not that you're intimidated by his moustache, but adults — probably Mesa's father — are just hard to talk to. Especially if they have a glorious moustache like that. You rub the skin above your upper lip longingly. Only the tiniest of hairs there.
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+---
+
+You nod politely in return, standing up straight to make use of your 162 (nearly 163) centimetres of height as best as possible.
+
+---
+
+How educated this man must be, to have such an open mind that he would even read the truth! And what courage to hide the forbidden book in such a copy!
+
+Your respect for his moustache increases tenfold.
+
+---
+
+Chopsticks? Your eyes search for but fail to find a spoon, let alone a fork or knife. The two Baccaloreans in front of you are nomming away contentedly. Savan glances up first but returns to eating, your acting skills easily passing off your ignorance of the useless and convoluted sticks as genuine admiration of the dish.
+
+---
+
+Of course something is wrong, you're going to make a fool of yourself by not knowing how to use two sticks to pick up food! What's the point of sticks over straight-up using your own hands? At least refined utensils like the spoon provide extra functionality that you weren't naturally born with. How is he picking up that rice with those things!
+
+---
+
+Both of their eyes are on you now as you reach for the chopsticks. You can't lose face now. The handbook on Baccalorean included a section on using chopsticks, but you've never had any practical experience with them. You check that you're picking up the right side — why are they also unidirectional — and clutch them with your left hand, then deftly moving them so that they become clamped between your right thumb and index finger.
+
+Success!
+
+---
+
+Ah. You'd forgotten he was asking for your opinion for the salmon. As your eyes flick to the block, your mind runs through calculations in the fraction of a second it takes for them to get there. _The salmon block is too big to fit in your mouth. Your chopsticks wouldn't be able to grip a block of that size, anyway. There is no way you can orient the block or your chopsticks to change the above two facts._
+
+It's impossible. You have only one option.
+
+You subtly stare at Mesa's chopsticks as they squeeze around her salmon block, forcing it into two, then elegantly twist to surround the smaller chunk and raise it to her mouth. It may be a technique you will never master.
+
+But it will be enough for the current situation. Your chopsticks descend once more to your plate, squeezing the salmon pip until it nearly bursts, several tiny pieces that you are certain you will not be able to recover falling to your plate. A small sacrifice for the greater good. The chopsticks raise once more, this time precariously balancing a mutilated piece of salmon between their tips.
+
+And they slide perfectly into your mouth, securing your prize once and for all, thereby ending the chopstick saga forever.
+
+---
+
+You keep your praise minimal so as not to inflate Savan's ego and to keep him humble.
+
+---
+
+"A _benevolent_ dictatorship," Savan corrects you. "Our goddess has a moderating effect on society so that no one gets into really heated debates because she's the ultimate mediator. She prevents problems before they get worse. That's compared to Constu, where you guys break things halfway through and revert to normalcy."
+
+"Nonsense. We call that 'agile' development. It's the fastest way of finding out which things stick and which don't. My teachers always said that taking risks is an important life skill to have. Your goddess never takes risks and so you guys are all stuck in your small little bubble of stagnation."
+
+---
+
+"Hey, kid!"
+
+You keep walking. They must be talking about someone else. Not only are you _not_ a child, you're doing very well collecting strawberries and nothing anyone can say is going to change your mind.
+
+"Kid standing up with the funky hair!"
+
+You whirl around to face the perpetrator of the grave insult, sending your sharpest glare his way. _"Excuse me?"_ Your hair is immaculately styled, not _funky_.

content/stories/nanowrimo/excerpts-2022.md

@@ -0,0 +1,227 @@
+---
+title: "Selected Excerpts from NaNoWriMo 2022"
+date: 2024-09-24
+tags:
+  - nanowrimo
+  - featured
+---
+
+Ganyu frowns as she pulls out a black leather straitjacket out of one of Yanfei's boxes. "Hey, Yanfei?" She holds it out in front of her. "What's this for?"
+
+Yanfei looks up from organising her hats on the shelf. "What do you mean? Obviously, you wear it…?" Her expression is puzzled.
+
+There's a small pause before the reply. "Never mind…"
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+Xiao stifles a snort. "That's right, Ganyu. Use your imagination. What else could you possibly use it for?" The straitjacket flies toward his face. Chuckling, he catches it and tosses it back at Ganyu.
+
+---
+
+"Uh oh, Xiao. You might want to reconsider biting into Jolly Ranchers around Yanfei," she teases. "She'll roast you on a spit."
+
+Yanfei laughs while pinning pictures to the board on her closet. "The gummies get stuck on your teeth\! But imagine chewing a hard — wait." Her eyes narrow as her expression suddenly stills. "You meant the soft ones, right?"
+
+Xiao looks away and proceeds to hang up a Drake poster.
+
+_"You meant the soft ones, right?"_
+
+"It's like a nutcracker going off every few seconds," Ganyu supplies.
+
+Yanfei stares at Xiao, who is decidedly not looking at her. "How have your teeth not fallen out?"
+
+---
+
+"Nope. University math is not real math. There are no numbers."
+
+---
+
+_"Pink team\!"_ The sudden shout startles them, and they turn to see a man in a pink rabbit suit holding a megaphone. Yanfei's jaw drops. She's amazed she missed him in the first place. The chatter in their team stops. "Give me your attention\! Excellent. Now," he says authoritatively, pacing back and forth, "during this orientation, I am responsible for you. You will not like me. But you will _learn_. And you will understand, freshmen, that I speak for the university. From now on, you will only speak when spoken to. _Is that clear?"_
+
+---
+
+The rabbit man's mouth twitches but makes no comment. "Now, we head to the opening presentation. Do not lose me, or you will be severely beaten."
+
+---
+
+Miko leans in, smirking. "Don't go around underestimating UTI, now," she winks. "You'll be in for quite a bit of pain if you do."
+
+---
+
+"With free food as motivation, who could lose?"
+
+---
+
+Yanfei blanches. "Uh…" She scooches back. "You do make…food."
+
+"Does she?" Xingqiu mutters. Hu Tao chops him again. "Ow\!"
+
+---
+
+"Where. Are. The. Vegetables?" He shudders. "I only saw _boiled carrots_."
+
+They all look down at their plates. "There's napa in my _gyoza_," Shinobu says.
+
+"Tofu has beans." Yanfei offers. "Those are vegetables, right?"
+
+"What's a vegetable?" Hu Tao asks innocently.
+
+---
+
+Yanfei empties her own bowl. It soon fills up again to accommodate the recent group of refugees from her body. "It's not the tofu," she insists weakly, squeezing her eyes shut. "It's _never_ the tofu." Tofu wouldn't cause her physical pain to stand up. Tofu would embrace her and tell her everything's okay, that her stomach isn't the one cramping out and vomiting in the wrong direction, that the mouth on her other end isn't retching gravy and spitting all over the bowl of chocolate soup.
+
+---
+
+It doesn't stop. A river is flowing through her body. She imagines all of the microbes going whitewater rafting to exit her system. Only the water is neither white nor water. And the raft has spikes on the outside, as if designed to cause her the most suffering possible.
+
+---
+
+She's ascended to a higher plane, she feels. It's freeing — until her stomach brings her back to reality with a cheerful _mrrgle_ as if taunting her.
+
+---
+
+"Why is there so much work\! I have. Three. Tests. Next. Monday."
+
+"Yeah," Keqing nods. "It's always easiest the first two weeks." Ganyu elbows her. "Oh? I mean — it's really rough the first two weeks."
+
+---
+
+Ganyu chuckles, eyes unfocused. For some reason, Yanfei feels a sense of dread looming behind her — oh, that's just Xiao.
+
+---
+
+"That's too much, Keqing."
+
+"Ganyu, I need it\!" Keqing wails. "Are you really going to deny your girlfriend the only thing she truly loves?"
+
+---
+
+"Sorry, Yanfei. Kazuha's high again."
+
+---
+
+Sliding on her glasses, Ganyu reads the question aloud. "As _n_ approaches infinity, evaluate the limit of the *n*th root of the sine of pi over two _n_ times the sine of two pi over two _n_, all the way up to _n_ minus one pi over two _n_…" she murmurs. "Okay. What don't you get?"
+
+---
+
+"No, you messed up again here, I'm not sure how you got that. Five plus two isn't seven, it's… Oh. Wait, it is seven."
+
+---
+
+Xiao continues to watch television. "Yes. Yanfei helped. Your recipe is quite based — there's more left in the fridge for you."
+
+Ganyu pauses. "Huh. Thanks. Nothing burned down, I hope?" She peeks around as if searching for scorch marks.
+
+"No. Yanfei almost tried to grind the almonds with an egg beater though. That was cringe and unbased."
+
+A few seconds pass in silence. Xiao looks up. "Ganyu?"
+
+Ganyu stares at him with an expression of unbridled horror. "W-what happened to you?"
+
+"Is there something that is sus? Yanfei taught me some common slang used by university students. That was very poggers of her."
+
+A quiet _thump_ resounds as Ganyu sits down heavily on the nearest chair she can drag over. Eyes unfocused, she gazes into empty space. "No — just —" She abruptly gets up. "I'm going to talk to Yanfei."
+
+"Kek-double-U," Xiao states.
+
+---
+
+"Good decision," Yanfei nodded. "If you don't overflow on CRIT Rate, it's your best-in-slot in freeze teams. Second BiS in melt, too."
+
+---
+
+Evidently, the fish did not want to be a new member of Yanfei's family and splashed out of the chest right onto her face.
+
+---
+
+Yanfei nodded agreeably. "Yeah, Magikarp kinda sucks. The only thing it does is splash around. Magikarp," she declared, "you have disappointed me for the last time. By the power invested in me by myself, I sentence you…to exile\!"
+
+---
+
+She shudders, imagining the explosion in her gut if she had to live off of dorm food. Then the state of the communal bathrooms for everyone who has to live off of dorm food.
+
+Nope. She's _very_ glad to be living off-campus, actually.
+
+---
+
+She can only imagine the level of flex Hu Tao has by having the ability to hand out _bubble tea_ to people who come over.
+
+---
+
+Yanfei's fake moustache falls off from how long her jaw has been stuck to the table. She pushes up her sunglasses, rubbing her eyes as if she can't believe what she's seeing.
+
+---
+
+"I mean, I totally get why," Hu Tao says dreamily. "Yun Jin's a real piece of eye candy. I just want to _bite_ into her pompoms\! It's too bad she doesn't lean that way."
+
+---
+
+"Here in my apartment, we've just got this new blender, so don't mind Ganyu being vegetarian over there. But you know what I like a lot more than materialistic things?"
+
+Yanfei points at the television. "Knowledge. And where else can you find more knowledge than in appreciating art?" She claps her hands. "So that's why we're gonna play Mario Kart\! I read in a book somewhere that competition nurtures the mind."
+
+Hu Tao nods along like it all makes perfect sense. "So if I win, I get smarter?"
+
+"Damn," Shinobu says. "We're all gonna be geniuses by the end of this. Except for Hu Tao."
+
+---
+
+He knows her much better — she wouldn't get him something mortifying like a _Link body pillow_. Ganyu's box is smaller than Yanfei's, which is a strong sign that it doesn't contain a Link body pillow.
+
+---
+
+"I noticed that your Pikachu pyjamas were starting to wear out. You must have had them for _years_ now. So I got you another pair\!"
+
+---
+
+"By the way," Yanfei says as Xiao takes his very first bite, "we knew you didn't want something too unhealthy for breakfast, so we tried out spinach as the main ingredient this time. What do you think?"
+
+---
+
+A girl and a boy sit in a Meet Fresh booth, its logo prominently displayed on the wall behind them. "Have a shaved ice," the girl whispers to the boy in the movie. "It's delicious. Made out of 100% fresh fruit. Just like me."
+
+---
+
+Yanfei averts her eyes until the subtitles stop saying \*\*SLURP SLURP SLURP\*\*.
+
+---
+
+"Then don't you want to eat me out?" the girl says huskily, caressing his cheek. "Like you eat out Meet Fresh's watermelon shaved ice, only available here for $9.99?"
+
+"But isn't that expensive?" The girl gives him a look of utmost concern like he's just said that he's about to die.
+
+"Our love is worth it," he reassures her. "Just like how the taro red bean soup is worth the $5.99 at Meet Fresh." He pulls out the dish from behind him. It looks overly bright and shiny, almost exactly like the picture in the menu. "Wouldn't you like to try one?" The boy takes a sip, then holds it up to the girl, who lovingly meets his gaze as she eats the rest of the spoonful. Both of them sigh with joy in unison.
+
+---
+
+Instead of the usual beach boy masquerade, today Xiao's hairdo looks like Morax decided to play cat's cradle with it but got bored before he finished.
+
+---
+
+"Welcome to the fourth meeting of the Debate Club. May we recognise that we are nothing but pawns to the great…Debate Club." She holds out a spiked metal bat to the skies.
+
+---
+
+"Objection\!" Yanfei buzzes. "Chewbacca override."
+
+"Sustained. Sumeru, please be aware that the club formally forbade use of the Chewbacca Defense effective the 21st of November."
+
+---
+
+Yanfei spreads her arms. "Respectfully, Fontaine requests that the opposing counsel consider the implications of curves on pancakes. In reality, the inherent lack of structure _inside_ the pancake must lead to highly undesirable flopping, just like Mondstadt's tiny pp when he sees one\!"
+
+Chongyun slaps the table, standing up and pointing at Yanfei. "Objection\! Inadmissible evidence\! The counsel from Fontaine…has highly exaggerated the size…of my colleague's…" Xingqiu practically drags him back down beside him, mildly red.
+
+---
+
+"It's okay. It's not actually losing if you lose against Numeron."
+
+---
+
+"They are. For this question, you're supposed to apply IBP twice. See how you can rearrange it with _u_\-substitution to make negative _x_ squared with _e_ to the negative _x_? That leaves you with another integral of negative _e_ to the negative _x_ by two _x · dx_. Then by doing IBP again, you end up with this negative _e_ and a quadratic."
+
+---
+
+"Is this really life, though? Dogs chasing their tails in circles over and over again?"
+
+Yanfei nods firmly. "It is the very pinnacle of life. The epitome of all we strive for."

content/stories/nanowrimo/excerpts-2023.md

@@ -0,0 +1,367 @@
+---
+title: "Selected Excerpts from NaNoWriMo 2023"
+date: 2024-09-25
+tags:
+  - nanowrimo
+  - featured
+---
+
+My, little Peony must have such pain in his heart to so coldly shrug off an earnest request. Perhaps he suffered from childhood trauma in which his family was brutally murdered and thus he was forced to be independent, grew up much too fast, and now his heart is locked away, waiting for someone with a kind heart to bring him back to the world. But I digress.
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+---
+
+A rather melancholic tune, if I do say so myself. If I were forced to speculate, I might say that he suffered through a traumatic in his adolescent years that closed him from the outside world. A troubled soul, lost and alone, dreaming of the golden years of his past\! But I digress.
+
+---
+
+"Sialia, humans are fascinating characters. Oftentimes quite dim, but fascinating nonetheless. Simply because _you_ have the brain the size of an earthworm — don't chortle on me now — does not mean that my _dear, cherished_ grandson isn't intelligent enough to desire a broader perspective."
+
+---
+
+Don't give me that, young sir\! If your wings are sore already, you'll be stuck in Los Angeles for the winter\! And what sort of self-respecting bluebird would let themselves stay in _LA_? The place is for lazy, sheltered, never-had-to-work-a-single-day-in-their-life cocks, that's what it's for. I shan't let you do it, not while these old bones can still slap you out of the sky\!
+
+---
+
+Are you still sore? Yes? Stick a worm in it. Here. Some nutrition. _Properly_ prepared earthworm, not like that bland, processed feed I came back to last night. I had thought your mother would have properly taught you how to feed yourself.
+
+---
+
+Keep an eye on the blue car beast. Humans feed them stinky earth juice, and in return, they regurgitate the humans when the human feels like it's traveled far enough.
+
+---
+
+Observe. This is one of the many human education institutions. Humans are incredibly stupid, so unlike us bluebirds, in order to do anything, they have to attend years of classes simply to learn what they can and cannot eat. See? They can't even eat nuts. Truly, I pity the poor species.
+
+---
+
+If there is one appendage to admire from the humans, I must say it has to be their nose. Not only can they smell far better than we can, it's so expressive when they wrinkle it so.
+
+---
+
+What a wonderful girl. When she wants something, she takes it. Be like her when you grow up. She also understands what power she has, and makes full use of it. If you never show off your skills and abilities, you'll never attract a good mate. It's important that every single bird around you knows just how competent, how amazing, how fearsome you are. _Oh, David…_
+
+---
+
+What's a little bloodshed between friends?
+
+---
+
+My, the poor girl must be suffering from whiplash more than the time I slammed into a car's windshield\!
+
+---
+
+"No, I can't\! Every time I even _think_ about being nice to that girl, I want to sock her so hard that her head springs back to knock both of us out so we don't have to interact. Please, Brooke. Be my Pamela shield."
+
+---
+
+They call it The Spanking. When a student and a teacher hate each other very much,
+
+---
+
+Lady, if your eyebrow lifts any higher, it might grow wings and migrate to Vancouver with us.
+
+---
+
+When you grow up, dearest Archie, desire nothing but to survive, thrive, and bear children. You'll be happier that way.
+
+---
+
+What is this nonsense? If you can back up anything you say by beating other birds up, you're right. Who's going to tell you otherwise? This isn't the first time I've heard this argument from humans. No wonder they bicker so uselessly among themselves so often and never get anything done.
+
+---
+
+Mind your wings — best not to get lost in the scent of Subway, lest you become addicted. Your great-grandfather was once a renowned human-watcher, but he strayed too close, too many times, and was Subway-ridden for the rest of his life. Couldn't fly a quarter mile away before his wings would lock up and he fell out of the sky.
+
+---
+
+Hm. Perhaps there is a flaw in this human. I do not believe that I have ever seen so many crosses.
+
+---
+
+We do not poke fun at those unable to fly — we can only look down upon them, sympathise, and offer our condolences.
+
+---
+
+Get up, or I'll make you live in Los Angeles for a week\!
+
+---
+
+I was once an engineer, you know. I was present at the founding gathering of the International Engineering Society. _Delicious_ seeds. Truly some of the best food I've ever had.
+
+---
+
+So what if you've heard it three times? This is an important cultural milestone of our species' history\! You should listen to it at least ten times\!
+
+---
+
+Perhaps I chose a flawed human. I do not believe that they are supposed to sprint across the middle of the road quite like that. Or be struck by their car companions like that.
+
+---
+
+Personally, I must interject to say that carrots are an abomination. Along with potatoes. No fruit, and you have to pull them out of the ground to eat them. And what do you get for all that effort? A bloody chore of a food, that's what you get\! Disgusting, starchy, barely juicy things, those are. Humans are a truly a different breed, they are. I'll forgive the child just this once for this transgression.
+
+Bah. Mind your tongue. Simply because you hold objectively incorrect opinions close to your heart does not mean that you can spout off such nonsense in front of civilised birds such as myself. Didn't your father tell you to respect your elders? Be grateful that I refrain from using strong language in front of underage birds.
+
+---
+
+One of the any churches in the world. Legend has it that some idiot human strapped himself to the cross and got killed.
+
+---
+
+No, Elizabeth, snap yourself out of it\! Remember the vomiting. Remember the vomiting. Yes. Ahh…
+
+---
+
+What kind of stupid, arrogant, _deranged_ bird would voluntarily come to _Los Angeles_?
+
+Oh, my. Ahem. What I mean to ask was — what kind of strong, dashing, chiselled, courageous, alluring, scarred-backstory bird would voluntarily come to _Los Angeles?_
+
+---
+
+"Liz, I swear, the next chance I get, I am going to take the gleeful, probably cancerous prick growing out of your head and ram it up your —"
+
+---
+
+"I still cannot believe that you're here because you wanted to check out a hot bird."
+
+I very explicitly _did not_ say that, Sialia. Stop putting words into my beak.
+
+"Right. How did you put it? 'The most incredible bird you've seen in years. His physique, his manner, his scars'? I can't possibly imagine how that could be construed as something even remotely romantic. No, not at all."
+
+Your harsh words wound me. Still so sarcastic.
+
+"She calls me harsh\! Archie, who do you think is harsher? Me or your grandmother? It's okay if you say me. Liz is completely harmless."
+
+What did you say? Are you calling me _old?_
+
+"Aren't I?"
+
+Why, Sialia, if I weren't so generous, I would have your head pinned to the ground under my claw until you begged for mercy.
+
+"Aw, thanks\! I have to say — you have better lines this time. If you want to get this William Swainson —"
+
+That's William _John_ Swainson to you.
+
+"— this William _John_ Swainson — between your legs, you have to try a little harder than _that_."
+
+I have _years_ of experience, Sialia. I'm not a fledgling anymore.
+
+---
+
+Don't be so picky, child. Eat it. You heard Sialia. She'll be very much heartbroken if you don't try it, you know? She'll fall over, bawling her eyes out to the world, body wracked with sobs at the sheer offense brought to her by one small bluebird named Archie. But I digress.
+
+---
+
+Ah, young love. The boy and the girl look so happy together. You know, child, that in my youth, I was _hounded_ by men for who they thought I was? It is wonderful to see that today's human youth have moved on past such frivolities. To my knowledge, it is still an ongoing issue with us. If the boy and the girl were bluebirds, they would treat every interaction like a transaction, until they realise that it isn't worth being so on guard to every single person around them and decide to love each other unconditionally.
+
+---
+
+I have seen humans gleefully _stab_ each other simply because of infatuation, just like bluebirds. Literally _every single_ couple in human society has major issues that prevent them from being a perfectly functional unit. Every single one.
+
+---
+
+Ice cream is another food that will kill you. No matter how much sugar you detect, it's poison\! All poison. Humans should be ashamed, leaving out bait for good, honest birds to consume. And it's not like they eat them either\! We simply die for nothing. How incredibly rude.
+
+---
+
+"It exists. Therefore it's wrong. And because you're defending it, it must be wrong. See how everything logically ties in together so neatly?"
+
+"I'm gonna throw you off the hill."
+
+"With your noodle arms? Fat chance."
+
+"These noodle arms picked up your skinny ass once before, Jeremy."
+
+What did I tell you, Sialia? They're already threatening violence. We just skip the discussion bit and go straight to the violencing. Another way how birds are significantly more efficient than humans.
+
+---
+
+Every human relationship ends up like this eventually. They argue back and forth with each other until one of them breaks.
+
+"Archie, don't listen to your grandmother. She doesn't understand a bit of friendly ribbing. Banter, if you will."
+
+_Banter?_ You call this _banter?_ No wonder you don't have a partner, Sialia. If you consider this "friendly ribbing", I shudder to imagine what you must consider verbal abuse.
+
+"Have you listened to yourself recently?"
+
+---
+
+"Just one question. Did it hurt?"
+
+"What do you mean, sir?"
+
+"When you fell…"
+
+"I didn't fall?" An important lesson to you, child. Although the girl has a blissfully unaware expression on her face, you must hone your instinct to realise that we are moments before disaster. Sialia, if you don't let me leave, I will hide ants in your nest.
+
+"…from heaven."
+
+I'm going to vomit. Let me vomit, Sialia. You can't tell me what to do. I don't care how much seed will pour out of my beak. I cannot spend one more minute listening to this sappy nonsense.
+
+"Uh, it's a metaphor. It means you're beautiful. Are you an angel?"
+
+"…No. Thank you. Will that be all?"
+
+---
+
+"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? You dirty, dirty freak."
+
+"Yes, I'm your dirty, _dirty_ freak\! I want it so, so much."
+
+"Now get on your knees. The handcuffs stay on. That's an _order_."
+
+"Ha… Yes, yes, of course\!"
+
+"Did I say you could talk back to me?"
+
+See? Now _this_ is proper flirting. Mind the whip. At this range, it could clip your wing off. If I were a human, I'd marry this human right now and here\!
+
+What are you two looking at me like that for?
+
+---
+
+"Sorry about that. You must be tired."
+
+"Yeah."
+
+"After running around my head all day."
+
+No, _do not smile, girl,_ what is wrong with you. I have had it with this couple\!
+
+"That was terrible and you should feel terrible."
+
+"Aw… But you love me anyway. You smiled\!"
+
+"I did and I hate it. But I love you anyway."
+
+---
+
+"Liz, sometimes I get the feeling that you're not listening to me."
+
+Of course I do. When have I ever not acknowledged anything you've said?
+
+"I mean, I feel like you never really consider it."
+
+I consider everything from everyone at great length. I am always correct, after all. In order to be so correct, I must acquire any new information as fast as possible.
+
+---
+
+If I hear that _inane_ word one more time, I might have to commit bodily assault on one of the humans here. Thank you, child, I do not need the earplugs.
+
+"Dude\! You're so based. It's so fire, bro\!"
+
+---
+
+"Rio, pass me the laptop\! To save the dragons, I've got to hack into the Nomekop mainframe and eliminate all traces of Aderyn before we land\!"
+
+---
+
+I can only imagine the people at the ends of those sticks, poking and jabbing him in all the most sensitive places to make him squeal.
+
+What do you mean, _you'd love that?_
+
+---
+
+"Maybe I should get a new cardigan for myself. Just in time for spring. How about this purple-and-yellow polka dotted one?"
+
+Gah\! My eyes\! The contrast is too great\! Yet I can't tear my eyes away. It is — it is _objectively_ offensive to the eyes.
+
+"Gah\! My eyes\! That is the most _offensive_ cardigan I've ever seen. I didn't even know they could make them like that. You should get it."
+
+"You think so? I think it'd be funny to stroll around in this. Change up the look a little."
+
+"I agree\! You should totally buy it."
+
+"Hang on, let me get someone else's opinion on it. Hold my stuff while I change?"
+
+I see. She must remove her existing outer layer of clothes before putting on a new outer layer of clothes. Such a hassle that they even have a dedicated private room for it.
+
+Oh my goodness. I cannot look at her. I think I might go blind. My eyes feel like they're flying into a glass sliding door over and over again. It's horrifying.
+
+"Honestly? It's better than I thought. For some reason, it doesn't look nearly as offensive on you as it did alone. They won't run you out of the store for this or anything. I'm still going to pretend that I don't know you." Pardon me? Madam? Do you need to see an eye doctor? Perhaps acquire some glasses? Are we looking at the same shirt? Did your eyes perhaps lock themselves into place looking at her face and steadfastly ignoring every other part of the outfit for the sake of their sanity?
+
+"Strange. Don't be a scaredy-cat, Shayla. I thought it was abominable. Come on. Excuse me? Hi." She's roped in a new poor woman. May Garuda have mercy on your eyes. "So sorry to bother you, but on a scale from one to ten, how offensive is this outfit?"
+
+"One. No contest."
+
+"One being least offensive."
+
+"Yeah, still a one. I feel like I can barely see it. It's pretty hard to notice." Her eyes are locked onto Mira's face. No wonder it's difficult to notice. The sight is elicits such a visceral reaction that their eyes dedicate all of their power toward self-preservation.
+
+Mira must not be able to see the full thing, so when she looks down at her cardigan and back up, she doesn't get the full effect.
+
+"Huh. Thank you very much. Shayla, I think I want a third opinion. I think maybe both of you are gaslighting me or something."
+
+"It's fine, Mira. How could we both be gaslighting you?"
+
+"I don't think I saw either of you actually look at the cardigan. It kinda felt like you were staring directly in my eyes the whole time."
+
+"No way."
+
+"Let me find someone else who might have functioning eyes. Ah. Excuse me\!"
+
+"Hello, yes? How may I help you — _good glory\!_ My _eyes,_ my _EYES\!_ Ma'am, I am so sorry, but my brain is restraining me from looking in your direction — it's the cardigan, I swear, not you personally."
+
+I knew it\! Finally, my opinion validated. I was beginning to wonder if our superior inhuman eyesight was the only thing that let us recognise truly how ugly that cardigan was.
+
+"Thank god\! I was about to believe my friend when she said that it looked fine. How could dull yellow polka dots work on a purple fabric?"
+
+"Absolutely — wait. Was that from _here_?"
+
+"You bet. Picked it up from the bunch of cardigans over there."
+
+"Yeah, no. That is not okay, ma'am. Sorry, but — ahem. In my professional opinion, I would advise you remove that cardigan and let me take it to the incinerator."
+
+Such a wise employee.
+
+"I kinda wanna take it home, though. It gets really good reactions."
+
+"Look, ma'am, if you want to take it home, I'm not going to stop you. But I hope you know what you're doing."
+
+"Of _course_ I do. Right, Shayla? When have I ever not known what I was doing?"
+
+"Shockingly, very few times."
+
+"Exactly. So let's go check out. I still want to visit the market on Main Street going on this week\!"
+
+---
+
+It's a classic\! A man and a woman meet in a bar. She comes here looking for a drink and an escape from her reality, but instead, she finds a man who, although he seems aloof, is actually the mask in front of a troubled soul who, after a great shift in his life, is trying to get his life back together.
+
+---
+
+All of your problems are solved now that you've found a man\!
+
+---
+
+I have seen _worms_ inching faster than these two progressing their relationship.
+
+---
+
+Look at the development. The progression. At this rate, they might even get together before I die.
+
+---
+
+That sputter is reminiscent of the tractor that killed your Uncle Jordan.
+
+---
+
+Now, some mouth-to-mouth action — that's what we're here for. The way the human lips lock together…the way the heads move as one as hands scrabble for grip… Even an old bird such as I can tell how much passion there is in a good, long kiss\! If birds had lips, Marty would be blown away by how much love I'd make to him.
+
+---
+
+"Let me show you how to use a carving knife…"
+
+I wish he would show her how to carve out a future for them together instead.
+
+---
+
+"Son, maybe the times are changing. And I respect that. But no matter what happens, never lose that fighting spirit. Can't fight the girls? Fine. There's still a good half of the population you can beat some sense into. Now, if they say that _fighting is bad_ and that _no one should do it_ or whatever? That's when you put your fist down and screw the rules. Let no one tell you what you can or can't do."
+
+"I'll do my best, dad\!"
+
+"I know you will, son. Make me proud. Nothing like a good fist to the noggin to help loosen any lips."
+
+Wonderful parenting. _This_ I can get behind one hundred percent. I know I have a lot of negative things to say about humans, but in reality, they're so diverse that there are so many different viewpoints to learn from. There are some that are objectively wrong, some that are objectively right, and then most are in the middle. It's rather refreshing to have one's opinions validated every once in a while.

content/stories/shorts/glorious-pain.md

@@ -0,0 +1,296 @@
+---
+title: Glorious Pain
+date: "2024-11-22"
+tags:
+  - birdseye
+  - nanowrimo
+  - featured
+---
+
+**Summary:** Liz, Archie, Sialia, and William J. Swainson watch a human who insists that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And, well, who wouldn't want to be stronger?
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+---
+
+Good morning to you, child, Sialia, Mr. Swainson. Shall we start the day?
+
+"Why, but of course. Are you all prepared for human-watching? Have you everything you need?"
+
+Of course. Let us travel across the skies of Winnipeg!
+
+"Excellent. Please follow me. The Forks are rather busy this time of year. If I ever needed a quick human, the Forks were a fine place to find one."
+
+What accessible architecture! The highs and tumbles all mesh together beautifully. A bird could hide or swoop around this area anywhere!
+
+"Another reason why it is such a perfect location for birds. Look at those humans arguing over there. That's usually a good sign to find interesting people."
+
+Let us listen in, then. What an angry woman, pulling her friend close to her like that. That other man might be getting a little too close to them for comfort.
+
+"Get your hands off of him! How _dare_ you insult him like that? Do you know what he's been through?"
+
+"Woah, dude. Take a chill pill. I didn't even touch your friend there. I just called him out for being rich. Y'know, got his whole life sorted out before the age of ten by his parents and all that. You don't gotta act like I slept with your mom last night."
+
+"Um, Sera, it's okay. Isn't this a bit of an overreaction…?"
+
+"No! Absolutely not, Leo. If anything, I can't believe that you aren't reacting more! How can you let him say that to you? You lived in poverty since you were three. You scrimped and saved and worked as hard as you could just so you could feed both yourself and your family while going to school. _You deserve nice things._ It's okay to want for things."
+
+"Damn, man. I didn't know you had a backstory like that. Sorry, bro."
+
+"Yeah, well, you should apologise! Don't judge people by how they look, loser."
+
+"Come on, Sera. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. People are staring. Let's just go."
+
+"Hmph. You value yourself _way_ too little. This world is full of injustices. I just want to see you succeed, Leo."
+
+I daresay that this might be the most interesting human yet, this _Sera_. A blunt and direct person, isn't she? Let us follow these two as they leave the malls.
+
+"Seraphina!" A new girl.
+
+"Oh, hey, Amara! You can totally call me Sera, you know that, right? What're you doing here? Oh, this is Leo, by the way. Leo, this is Amara. We've been friends since high school."
+
+"Heya. Great to meet you!"
+
+"Nice to meet you too, Leo. Seraphi — sorry, I mean, _Sera_, I was gonna go shopping with Phoebe today. Wanna join us?"
+
+Out of all of the noses I've seen, Sera's nose is up there for most expressive. That wrinkling is remarkably clear, even to birds such as myself.
+
+"Phoebe? Phoebe Sinclair?"
+
+"…Yeah. Is something wrong with Phoebe?"
+
+"Not at all." That sniff says otherwise. "She's perfectly fine the way she is. I just wish I understood how she got to where she is today."
+
+"Huh. Okay. Well, maybe you'll get to talk to her at Ethan's birthday party today. You're going, right?" Birthday? Oh, we must follow this girl.
+
+"Of course! Wouldn't miss it for anything."
+
+"Cool, cool. Phoebe's been waiting for me at Zara for a while now, so I'm gonna dip. See you tonight?"
+
+"Yeah, for sure. Bye!"
+
+"Nice meeting ya."
+
+Child, this is a once-in-a-year opportunity! Humans' birthdays are incredibly significant to them, and the particularly interesting ones make a big fuss out of it and throw a party. You're incredibly lucky to see something so special at your age.
+
+Mr. Swainson, please don't raise his ego. Garuda knows it's flying too close to the sun already. The humble bird gets the worm, as they say.
+
+---
+
+One more piece of advice to you, child: You can easily tell if a house contains a lot of humans by looking at the number of cars in the driveway. Usually, those with more guests have more cars, as the cars refuse to leave without their owners. From there, you can use the information in a variety of different ways. You could track the humans entering and leaving the home based on what cars they take and how many humans each car holds. You could also link the cars to the home and build a network of humans. The possibilities are endless!
+
+In this case, we can use the information to easily verify that this is indeed the correct house. The richer humans with the larger houses are particularly nice because they usually have at least one open window somewhere that is suitable for human-watching. Additionally, the density of humans in the house is lower, so your chances of getting caught are much lower.
+
+For now, let us find a nice open window to eavesdrop from. Oh! Actually, we can approach the window later. A new car is pulling up to the house!
+
+"Hey Ethan — happy birthday! And Sera! When was the last time I saw you guys?"
+
+"Phoebe! C'mere. Oh my god, it's been way too long. Love the necklace, by the way."
+
+"Thanks! My mom helped pick it out for me last week."
+
+"Hmph."
+
+"Hm? Sera?"
+
+"Nothing. Don't mind me. Why don't you come in?"
+
+It's going to be difficult to squeeze by them. Shall we head to the window to continue their conversation?
+
+"…and then I told my mom, so she was like, 'Do you need a new one?' And of _course_ I'm not gonna say no to a new phone, right? Sera, is something wrong? You've been kinda smug this whole time. I know that we've had our disagreements sometimes, but _surely_ you're over it now?"
+
+"Oh, but of course. How could our _little princess_ here be troubled? _Everything_ must end up perfectly for her. Oh, the horror? How could you possibly be bothered by something as trivial as _disagreements?_ 'No,' she says, 'look at me! I'm so perfect and smart and pretty and I have so many friends!' Even though you haven't done a single _damn_ thing to deserve it. Acting so high and mighty like that — it disgusts me."
+
+"What are you on about? Did I do something to you?"
+
+" _'Did I do something to you,'_ she asks. More like what you _didn't_ do. _You're_ probably just here because you're Amara's friend. Honestly, I don't know what she sees in you. Have you ever been grateful for anything or worked a _single_ day of hard work in your entire life?"
+
+"Hey! Don't mock me. Look, I don't know what your problem is, but this is getting out of hand."
+
+_"My_ problem is that _you_ don't realise just how good you've got it while you brag about all of the _nice things_ you have to other people. Actually _good_ other people, unlike you. See Amara here? She _chooses_ to be kind even though she's experienced first-hand how cruel the world is. She lost the bright, innocent spark in the eyes of her childhood when her parents died, when _no one_ wanted to help her, and when her closest friend betrayed her. Yet _still —_ still she has ten times the heart that you do."
+
+"Sera, _please_ calm down…"
+
+What a proud human. But strangely…not for herself. She's proud of the people around her. Quite refreshing. I'd say that I've rather had enough of the usual narcissists. And, if I may say, with rather strong, correct opinions too. Listen closely to every word she says, child. There is much you can take from her insights.
+
+"I will _not_ calm down, Amara! How can you possibly be so calm when there's someone like _her_ right in front of you, spouting things off like she knows everything?"
+
+"I'm just a normal girl, Sera. It's not that big of a deal."
+
+"Have you seen her _house_, Amara? She practically lives in a mansion. Her whole life, she's never had to worry about food, about having a roof over her head, about if she'll be alive tomorrow. And now she _dares_ enter into your lives without even a single sacrifice?"
+
+All excellent points. Child, no matter how old you may be, you will remain a child in my eyes until you suffer true hardship. Learn that there is no free lunch in this world. Learn that if you truly want something, you need to _work_ for it. If you don't work for it, you won't get it. It's as simple as that.
+
+There is no sense believing that all of the puzzle pieces will align one day, and suddenly everything will fall into place. That's at best a fantasy that should be relegated to stories. How can you possibly be happy if you've never been truly sad? How can you recognise success if you've never failed?
+
+…Respectfully, _William_, I must disagree. Life is nothing without suffering. If one does not suffer, they cannot understand how other people who truly _do_ suffer feel. Those who experience more suffering are objectively better. Not knowing that only means that you have not experienced enough to understand the incredibly large range of emotions and experiences one can go through. I'd recommend going out and travelling more.
+
+"Woah, woah! What's going on here? Ladies, ladies, calm down! It's a birthday party — let's not get too aggressive." Oh, go away, new boy. Don't break up the debate _now_. It was just starting to get interesting!
+
+"Even if you're the birthday boy, Ethan, this isn't something I can back down on. Look, Phoebe. If Amara has her own reasons why she keeps you around, fine. I'll respect that. But why should you, someone who's been sheltered all their life by _mommy_ and _daddy_, knowing nothing but their love, never having to worry about food or shelter or survival be here over someone like Leo?"
+
+"I gotta say, Sera, I'm on Phoebe's side here. It's not _wrong_ to be normal. In fact, I think that normal people are great! I love normal people. I feel like it'd be better if people _didn't_ have to go through things just to have nice things, y'know?"
+
+"Huh? That makes no sense. What about all of the people who _do_ go through things? How is that fair? I disagree with my parents on a lot of things, but being grateful for what you have is something that we both share an opinion on."
+
+"Why would you ever want to want to bring people down?"
+
+"Amara?"
+
+"I get trying to lift up people in pain, Sera. I do. But why would you ever want to push down happy people? I don't think that life is transactional like that. Phoebe and I equally don't deserve to get murdered."
+
+"I agree. _Murder_ might be a stretch. But it's not equal. Things should be equal. Why aren't they equal?"
+
+"If you really want to have this conversation, why don't we have it in the room over there?"
+
+"Only if everyone hears."
+
+"Oh my god, Sera. Why are you such a drama queen?"
+
+"Ex*cuse* me? How am _I_ the drama queen? What about you? You chose to defend Phoebe by _yourself._"
+
+"Sera, I like you a lot, I really do — I might reconsider after this conversation though, depending on how it goes — but you gotta come back down from your outlandish opinions, girl."
+
+"All of the people you've talked to, Ethan and me and Chelsea and Ken and the many, many more I'm sure I don't know, we're all really grateful that you're so understanding toward us. But — well, I don't want to assume, but for me personally — I don't want to be treated differently. I just want what happened to go away. I'd rather not talk about it, y'know?"
+
+"Why not? It should be a badge of honour. You should totally share it! You'd be way cooler to other people. Dark and brooding. _So_ interesting."
+
+"…Is this how you thought the entire time?"
+
+"Duh? I don't know why you're trying to stop me, Amara. You're all the way up there with so many more worldly experiences and perspectives, but I'm just here trying to get us lowly peasants up there so we can understand you better. It's hard to do that when you keep pushing us back down."
+
+"Oh, Sera. Please tell me you're kidding. I didn't — there's no way you could possibly be _below_ me. It's…it's not helpful. At all. All I want is to just be a normal person in a normal world. That's it. You don't need to be that person for me. Don't — don't hurt yourself doing that. It's not healthy. And it's never worth it."
+
+"There is no such thing as normal in this world. Everyone has their perspective, their side, their story. Everyone is different."
+
+"Oh, no. Trust me. There is _absolutely_ a normal. And I strived for that for _so very long_, Sera. Way before I met you. Please trust me when I say that no one wants to experience trauma. It's _never_ a good thing."
+
+"You're telling me that what I've been through wasn't _real_ trauma? When I asked my dad to shove my head underwater for fifteen seconds? When I asked George to tie me up against a board for a few hours? Drat. Maybe I should poison myself instead, that might have a stronger lasting impact…"
+
+"You did _what??"_
+
+"Oh, whew. You didn't know. Thank god. I thought it wasn't gonna count and I'd have to pull out all the stops to join the cool kids club."
+
+"No, no, that's not what I meant. I — I think I might need to take a seat just to comprehend what exactly is going on. Maybe we could continue this conversation later."
+
+"Yeah, yeah, no problem. By the looks of it, I might not be at your level, Amara, do you think I've suffered enough to beat Ethan, maybe? Maybe an Ethan and a half?"
+
+"I…I can't. I'm sorry. I have to go."
+
+"Oh, shit, Amara. I'm sorry. Did I trigger your latent trauma?"
+
+"No, no, please — please leave me alone for a moment. Please."
+
+"Ooh. Gotcha. Lemme know if you level up again!"
+
+"Yo, Sera, what'd you do to Amara to make her run out like that?"
+
+"She taught me that I have a lot of room to improve. Not as much as you, Phoebe, but there is still a great distance between me and her."
+
+"Er… That's not _bad_, I think. So why was making an expression like she wanted to vomit?"
+
+"Oh, y'know. People with checkered pasts often relapse into it, they get sad after something reminds them of it, and it's a true journey and a clear example of humans thriving through adversity that lets them overcome it. I'm really impressed by how she handled it, myself."
+
+"Huh. There's…a lot to unpack here. Um."
+
+All of these humans are so strange. They bear such strange expressions toward each other, as if they cannot understand each other. Bluebirds do not have this problem at all. Why don't they stare at each other and immediately comprehend what the other is thinking?
+
+Or fight it out. That's always a clean and decisive way to determine any winners or losers. Hell, if I could, I'd fight on Sera's behalf myself. I've never met a human who so clearly understood our perspective.
+
+When you grow up, go adventuring more. See the world. See its people, face its challenges, and suffer until you can experience the full range of bluebird emotion. All of these pussycat humans are cowards. Probably never worked a single day in their life. Never had to forage for food in the winter, or watch another human die.
+
+To hurt is to live. How can one possibly know happiness if they are never sad? How can one possibly know pleasure if they are never in pain? These humans will never reach the heights of emotion, never achieve their true potential.
+
+"Sera, I'm on your side!"
+
+Ah, another sane human.
+
+"Eh. Lucas, you don't count. You're not even at my level, let alone _them_. Glad you have the right mindset though. If you listen to me, you'll be able to understand the world more. Understand people more. And how could that possibly be a bad thing? I simply want people to broaden their perspective."
+
+The other girl returns.
+
+"Sera, could we talk about this later? It's Ethan's special day, and sometimes it seems like you talk about nothing but how people would be doing so much better if they just stabbed themselves sometimes."
+
+"But they should! It'd be a learning experience."
+
+"Sera…"
+
+"Oh, right. Fine. Ugh, what a spoilsport. Right, guys?"
+
+Hey. These are Sera's friends, aren't they? Why aren't they sticking up for her? Just because they share an objectively incorrect opinion doesn't mean that they can dismiss their friend like that. How rude.
+
+---
+
+"How was the birthday party?"
+
+"Not great. Some sheltered rich girl was there and she was being a jerk. That kinda ruined the whole thing."
+
+"You should be grateful that you even have the opportunity to go to such a frivolous event. When I was your age, I was already married and working, not fooling around and spending lavishly on snacks and treats. Consider yourself lucky."
+
+"You keep telling me over and over again. I _get_ it, ma. Unlike some other people."
+
+"Oh, sweetie. I know. There's not much you can do about it if they really don't want to change. You have to be willing to look at the flaws inside you, and it seems like these people just don't want to do that. It's a shame that there are so many like them out in the world."
+
+"I told one of them that they should broaden their perspective and be more considerate, and she almost punched me!"
+
+"Hmph. Ungrateful rats. Their parents must have been too protective of them. Didn't want them to get their hands dirty in the real world. Probably only went to the _sanitised_ plastic playgrounds. No, they were the ones _sanitising_ the playgrounds."
+
+"They gotta be."
+
+---
+
+Sialia, I know that _you_ never wanted kids, but Mr. Swainson, I cannot believe you. I thought that as a fine, distinguished gentleman, you would have had the orthodox mentality that one must experience as many things in life as possible. This is an impossibility.
+
+"Elizabeth, let me be frank. I have seen enough of the world, and I would rather my children not have to see the parts that they do not need to see. There are some things better left unsaid."
+
+You are much too protective.
+
+"There are things that birds _should not_ experience. It would be incredibly traumatic and have a terrible effect on their mental health."
+
+Mental health? What are you talking about? Birds can function perfectly fine no matter what Garuda throws at them. It's how we thrive as a species. Why, my eldest daughter flew straight into a travelling car's windshield and she values her life all the more for it. I myself tried the same — with a slower car, to minimise the risk of injury — and found myself with a greater appreciation with the world.
+
+"Why would you do that to yourself?"
+
+To understand her and the experience. How could you be so aghast about this?
+
+"Liz, you're an affront to all that pain stands for. Things hurt for a reason."
+
+If one never hurts, how can one love? Emotions are relative. A bird with the emotional range as wide as a feather will never feel true, unadulterated joy. Birds — and humans for that matter — have to hurt sometimes.
+
+That is what pain is — a reflection of happiness. Pain _helps_ us feel happy, Sialia, Mr. Swainson. It is a very good thing.
+
+"Elizabeth. Let me ask you this. I understand that it may be difficult to change your mind —"
+
+Absolutely.
+
+"— but if you could put yourself in a situation where you would never hurt or feel sad again, would you?"
+
+No! Didn't you hear a single word I said?
+
+"Liz, I almost forgot to bring this up because of all the other crazy philosophical stuff you went on, but let me remind you that Juliette is _not okay._ I have no doubt that if you asked her, she would agree in a heartbeat to not have had her beak crushed in. She didn't and still doesn't _want_ that memory, Liz. Pain is something Garuda blessed us with so that we know what to avoid."
+
+She can absolutely have memories that she'd rather not have but still are better for her in the long run. Children never want to do work around the nest, but you would still encourage them to do that, wouldn't you?
+
+"That's what I'm trying to say. It's _not_ better for her in the long run. I can't believe I have to explain to you why making your children do chores is not at all comparable to She's deathly afraid of any moving object now. Don't you know that that's why she stopped human-watching with you? Why she avoids flying? Why she moved to Florida? She's so afraid that she never wants to experience anything like that again. She barely talks to the other birds, Liz. When was the last time you visited her?"
+
+I… It must have been nearly three years now. I was not aware of this. Regardless, if she tries harder, she can overcome any obstacle. Give it some more time and she will surely rise up to the occasion and rise through the ashes like a phoenix to her new self. Stronger than ever before.
+
+"Help me out here, William. She's not on my wavelength. Got any solid arguments to stop her from putting through Archie here through some sort of torture machine later on in his life? I wasn't worried before, but now I definitely am."
+
+"How many years have you been human-watching, Elizabeth?"
+
+Almost ten. Why?
+
+"And in those ten years, how many humans have you seen that were hurt?"
+
+Quite a few. Why?
+
+"Most humans who are hurt don't express it. To my understand, instead, they actively try to hide it to reintegrate with society. There are a lot of them — both humans and bluebirds — that aren't able to fully. Maybe an equal number that aren't able to at all."
+
+Suppose you're right. These people are harder to see in the world. But —
+
+"Maybe we should drop this topic. Clearly we aren't getting anywhere. William, I'm sure you must want to get home by now. We've kept you for far too long. I'll stay with Liz, don't worry. At least until we reach the great mountain range. Help her keep an eye on Archie, too."
+
+"My thanks for your companionship the way here."
+
+No, no, the honour is all ours! Sialia and I, we've loved having you here. You've provided such a great perspective that we've learned a lot from. Perhaps in the future we could meet up and have more…insightful discussions in the future. I'd love to visit you in Montreal.

content/stories/shorts/trident.md

@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 ---
 title: "A Triden(t) Against the World"
 date: 2024-02-29
+_draft: true
 tags:
 - shorts
 - "content warning: political fluff"

content/stories/unstagnation/2024/miraidon-the-dongo.md

@@ -0,0 +1,196 @@
+---
+title: "Miraidon the Dongo"
+date: 2024-11-14
+tags:
+- birds
+- unstagnation
+- featured
+---
+
+![Dongo is love. Dongo is life.](/dongo-party.png)
+
+<!-- more -->
+
+The boy falls back against his couch, dropping his controller in his lap. The video game on his TV blares cheerful adventurous music. "The game is sooooo slow."
+
+"Fuck," the girl says over video chat. "You're on emulator, though. 2.5x it?"
+
+"The computer isn't quite powerful enough."
+
+"L. Ratio. Cringe PC gamer."
+
+The boy turns his attention back to the game, adding a new monster to his current party. "Dongo disagrees. Do you have a Dongo? Exactly."
+
+On the other side of the world, the girl has little to say to that. "Dongo isn't _real,_ he's _not\!"_
+
+"Dongo is life."
+
+"It's time to snap back to reality — car doggo is a myth."
+
+"I will write Dongo fanfic. He will be real."
+
+She makes a face. "I'm so sorry — this sounds like the biggest innuendo…"
+
+He nods absently. "Hm, hm, yes, sex the Dongo."
+
+She pauses. _"What?"_
+
+He frowns. "Absolutely not. Dongo is too precious."
+
+Her jaw drops. "You're the one who said to sex it\! Every time I settle down to play Pokémon, I end up playing League instead. I think I've been corrupted by the impure." She shudders.
+
+"Oh, no\! League is not fun."
+
+"But it is," she says sadly.
+
+"It's boring\! You click things, it's barely real time nor turn-based. It's as if tower defense and Civ did a Dongo."
+
+She takes a moment to parse the mystery word. "Why is it an _adjective_ now?"
+
+"Dongo disapproves." He shakes his head.
+
+"Oh, yeah? Well, I've spoken to Dongo and he said he doesn't like you." She sticks her tongue out, folds her arms, and turns away.
+
+"Lies\!" he cries. "You don't have Dongo. Dongo is _mine\!"_
+
+"I have him right here," she gloats, peeking off-camera. "He's right in front of me right now. He just doesn't want to see you."
+
+"Let's see 'em."
+
+"But he doesn't want to see you."
+
+"Pics or it didn't happen."
+
+Some shuffling from her background. "Every time I pull out my camera, he hides behind the couch and mutters, 'no'. And he can talk. And I'd know because I've talked to him."
+
+"I think you met an impostor Dongo…" he starts, concerned.
+
+"I think _you_ met an impostor Dongo," she counters.
+
+"…because Pokémon can't talk, duh?" He sounds befuddled.
+
+"Not to you," she says smugly. She pauses. "I feel like such a kid…ahh…"
+
+"Embrace it," he encourages. "Embrace the Dongo."
+
+"…I'd like to remind you of the innuendo you set up not 40 seconds ago."
+
+"Well, it was an…accident."
+
+"Dongo disapproves."
+
+"No, _your_ Dongo disapproves."
+
+"It's not worth arguing with a Dongo flat earther, so I'll agree to disagree."
+
+"I think you should get your head checked out because Dongo isn't real? He's from this Pokémon game."
+
+_"What?"_ she screeches. "No — heathen — _hypocrite\!_ I am _awake_, I am _alive_, I am _correct\!"_
+
+"Dongo disagrees."
+
+"Dongo is _right here,_ I —" Some shuffling. She sounds defeated. "I can't win." One last stand. "If he's real, then I'm right and you're wrong. But if he's fake you're right but you're right because you heard from Dongo."
+
+"Touch the Dongo," he eggs. A simple test. "I dare you."
+
+"…What the _fuck_ is going on? I'm not _coherent_ enough for this?" She sounds like she's in hysterics.
+
+"More like you're _too_ coherent for this. I'm making innuendo jokes, obviously. Can't you tell? Dong get it?"
+
+_"AHHHHHHHHHHH\!"_ The sound of a head smashing a wall comes through the speaker.
+
+"No. No, I refuse to accept this. Dongo is — one: real, two: not real, three: an innuendo, four: I need a psych eval, five: _you_ need a psych eval."
+
+He frowns. "Three of those criteria contradict each other."
+
+"…I am _not prepared_ for this multiple choice test."
+
+"You see, if I need an eval, then Dongo must not be not real nor real — and simultaneously you don't need an eval because Dongo is therefore real and not real. This is according to Dongo over here."
+
+Silence.
+
+"Dongo says hi…" he adds.
+
+A pause. "I am going to lose my mind."
+
+"…in Dongonese."
+
+"What the _fuck_ is _Dongonese?_ You said Pokémon can't talk\!"
+
+"They can — what do you mean? Pikachu talks all the time."
+
+A slow realisation. "I'm being fucking gaslit\!"
+
+"Can't you hear them? They make all sorts of sounds in the game."
+
+She falls over. She considers whether to go batshit crazy or lie on the ground. She decides to lie on the ground.
+
+"They even talk to each other," he continues. "Here, lemme find a pic."
+
+A ping. With dread in her heart, she slides down the notification.
+
+![](/dongo-gaslight.jpg)
+
+It's a picture of a Victorian lamp. Its flame cheerfully dances, burning the gas. "Shut the fuck up."
+
+"Stare into it," he encourages.
+
+Against her will, her eyes track the still image. "Oh," she realises.
+
+"You can hear whispers."
+
+"_Oh._ I can _see,"_ she whispers.
+
+" 'Dongo dong dong dongo.' "
+
+"I can _hear_ it. The voices. Of _Dongo_. They're telling me…they're telling me to go see a therapist." She pushes herself up with her elbows.
+
+"Dongo agrees."
+
+"_No\!"_ She is fed up. She will not let him take it back from her. "Let him speak for _himself."_
+
+" 'Cause that's a gas light, y'know. It's not good for your brain. Has fumes and all that."
+
+She looks back to the picture with horror in her eyes. "I feel like I'm forgetting how to communicate like a functional human being," she says.
+
+"It's okay\! Dongo feels that way too."
+
+She closes her eyes. "Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this will all have been a big, elaborate dream."
+
+"Yep."
+
+"_He's. Not. Real."_
+
+"That's right. He can't hurt you."
+
+Something in that resonates with her. "H-he can't hurt me," she says, dazed. Then more confidently, "He can't hurt me." She nods. "The voices are gone."
+
+"Good."
+
+She takes a deep breath. "I am about to have a psychotic break on the bathroom floor at 1:47 AM over hearing the voices of Miraidon, box legendary of hit new Pokémon game Violet, and maybe this other nerd's voice, I'm not sure."
+
+"While you're at it, say hi to Dongo for me."
+
+"I'll tell him you hate him."
+
+This shakes him up. His tone changes. "Noooo\!" More confidence. She pulls the middle finger to no one in particular. But then, "That's okay. I have the real Dongo."
+
+She refuses to be sucked into his insanity. "I'm _not_ starting this again, I'm not\!"
+
+He sighs. It must have been a long night for him, too. "I'd agree, actually."
+
+"Ha\! I can finally win\!"
+
+"I've run out of circles to Dongo," he concedes.
+
+The sense of victory makes it easier for her to assert her place in reality. "That doesn't even make sense\!"
+
+"So? Does Dongo make sense? No."
+
+"The message I'm taking away from this conversation is that I'm always right and you're always wrong and Schrodinger's Dongo."
+
+"Sounds about right." A pause. "Good night\!"
+
+"Night\!"
+
+!["Don-dongo. Dongodon dong dongodon?"](dongo.jpg)

data/tagInfo.ts

@@ -66,5 +66,14 @@ export const tagInfo: Record<string, TagData> = {
     name: "Featured",
     description: "Works that are less rambly and more actually good!",
   },
+  "monoceros (novel)": {
+    name: "Monoceros (novel)",
+    description: "A coffee shop where six students meet and become friends.",
+  },
+  "emma the narwhal": {
+    name: "Emma the Narwhal",
+    description:
+      'A mystery-betrayal story written by April Evans in <a href="/tags/stories/monoceros (novel)"><em>Monoceros</em> (novel)</a>.',
+  },
 };
 export default tagInfo;

nuxt.config.ts

@@ -2,6 +2,7 @@ import { defineNuxtConfig } from "nuxt/config";
 import svgLoader from "vite-svg-loader";
 // https://v3.nuxtjs.org/api/configuration/nuxt.config
 export default defineNuxtConfig({
+  compatibilityDate: "2024-10-16",
   app: {
     head: {
       htmlAttrs: {
@@ -15,7 +16,7 @@ export default defineNuxtConfig({
         { rel: "icon", type: "image/x-icon", href: "/favicon.ico" },
         {
           rel: "stylesheet",
-          href: "https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/katex@0.16.0/dist/katex.min.css",
+          href: "https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/katex@0.16.11/dist/katex.min.css",
         },
       ],
       script: [
@@ -55,6 +56,13 @@ export default defineNuxtConfig({
   },
   vite: {
     plugins: [svgLoader()],
+    css: {
+      preprocessorOptions: {
+        scss: {
+          api: "modern",
+        },
+      },
+    },
   },
   content: {
     documentDriven: false,

package.json

@@ -7,20 +7,20 @@
     "preview": "nuxt preview"
   },
   "devDependencies": {
-    "@nuxt/content": "^2.12.0",
-    "@nuxtjs/color-mode": "^3.3.2",
-    "@nuxtjs/sitemap": "^5.1.0",
-    "@nuxtjs/tailwindcss": "^6.11.4",
-    "@tailwindcss/typography": "^0.5.10",
-    "@types/node": "^20.11.24",
-    "dayjs": "^1.11.10",
-    "nuxt": "3.10.3",
-    "prettier": "^3.2.5",
+    "@nuxt/content": "^2.13.4",
+    "@nuxtjs/color-mode": "^3.5.1",
+    "@nuxtjs/sitemap": "^6.1.2",
+    "@nuxtjs/tailwindcss": "^6.12.1",
+    "@tailwindcss/typography": "^0.5.15",
+    "@types/node": "^22.7.5",
+    "dayjs": "^1.11.13",
+    "nuxt": "3.13.2",
+    "prettier": "^3.3.3",
     "reading-time": "^2.0.0-1",
-    "rehype-katex": "^7.0.0",
+    "rehype-katex": "^7.0.1",
     "remark-math": "^6.0.0",
-    "sass": "^1.71.1",
-    "typescript": "^5.3.3",
+    "sass": "^1.79.5",
+    "typescript": "^5.6.3",
     "vite-svg-loader": "^5.1.0"
   }
 }

pages/blog.vue

@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ const tags = new Set(
     <PostPreviewCard
       v-for="(post, index) in docs"
       :key="index"
-      :post="post"
+      :post
       type="blog"
     />
   </main>

pages/index.vue

@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ const welcomeStrings = ["Welcome!", "Bienvenue!", "欢迎!"];
       </p>
     </div>
     <div
-      class="flex justify-around items-stretch w-full flex-wrap gap-x-8 gap-y-10"
+      class="flex justify-around items-start w-full flex-wrap gap-x-8 gap-y-10"
     >
       <BlogStatBox />
       <StoryStatBox />

pages/tags/blog/[tag].vue

@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ useTitle(title + " Posts", details.description);
     <PostPreviewCard
       v-for="(post, index) in docs"
       :key="index"
-      :post="post"
+      :post
       :highlighttags="[tag]"
       type="blog"
     />